I am home. I have secretly been waiting since the day I left to say that. Not because of homesickness (although I was not immune to it) but because I was so excited to be on the other side of my Race; the other side of all the experiences and insane stories. For My heart to be overflowing with all the memories and new relationships.
And now here I am, laying in my cozy bed that I have day dreamed about everyday for the last eleven months, with an aching heart.
Yes, I am celebrating inwardly and outwardly as well, of course! God did so much in so many people; how could I not? But my heart is not just “full” as I had envisioned but has seemed to have been enlarged by the slow stretching of each face, prayer, laugh and embrace. I am feeling the growing pains of relationships that have been stretched across oceans and cultures.
I have fallen in love with the Children of God. I feel as though I have been broken and remade into something much more beautiful than before. A process that took time and pressure, although I know I am not done being shaped and molded. Most days when I felt the tension of my spirit being refined and my flesh crying out, was “He must become greater, and I must become less.” And though it doesn’t seem logical, the “less” I became, the more freedom and wholeness I experienced.
There are great pains and challenges we face daily, but when we look to God and live with obedience in our steps, a mouth full of thankfulness, eyes full of expectancy, and an ear to the Spirit, we just might be surprised how things turn out. You won’t be the same on the other side of whatever wave you are facing.
I am not the same. The people I met and prayed for and lived life with are not the same.
My prayer for you that with each new day, New moment with God you are not the same. I pray for your heart to be stretched with every person you encounter, every song you sing, each language you learn, and every laugh from your belly. Hearts that stay the same size, harden over time and become very difficult to be molded. And Life is just to beautiful and full of possibilities not to.
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And
One more somewhat random thought before I end. I want to encourage anyone who is stepping into missions or just obedience to God in their daily life, I feel like this is meant for someone who is reading this blog.
Don’t settle for becoming a better version of yourself. Strive to be like Christ; loving, serving, forgiving, having patience and all other fruits of the Spirit (Galations 5:22) We are not of ourselves and own creation, but of breath and image belonging to God, each person’s personality and gifts being a reflection of a characteristic of His.
Once we realize this, the pressure is off. We do not have to strive to be better or achieve anything. You are not designed to fit the mold the world gives you. We must simply be obedient when our Heavenly Father calls us to be “love with skin on” to others.
Thanks for reading, supporting and praying.
We made it together.
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What’s up next for me??
I have a conference in Atlanta to attend for post-world race. This gives us a time to process re-entrying US culture and also gives me a chance to learn more about potential internships and ministry opportunities.
Helped this broke missionary get to this great conference by clicking here!
God bless!!
https://www.gofundme.com/24y5f5cj
