As humans, we are not blameless or faultless. I most certainly am not. We all have an ugly side and it tends to bubble to the surface when a difficulty comes, whether in tragedy or simply a bad day. Our true character is shown when life gets tough. Luke 6:45 tells us,
“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
The last few weeks have definitely been an opportunity to practice what I preach when it comes to true dependency on the God of Peace that I claim to worship. Watching my fundraising account come to a standstill for 2 weeks was starting to get.. discouraging while student loans, and medical bills have piled up. Encountering many people day to day who were contagiously pessimistic, their words dripping with negativity about their life. Most of all I started to feel myself pull away from the Lord, as my time alone in His presence was less than the desired amount (but that was my own fault) leaving me dry and low on energy.
In these situations I found myself starting to get frustrated, impatient or just unloving. I didn’t like who I was starting to become.
But in these moments where it seems like my handle on life or who I am is slipping out of my grasp, I have to remind myself that God is faithful and good and everything the Bible says He is. If I truly consider myself to be a believer, than I am standing by Jesus and His words when He says to wait for His return, having faith and peace in the meantime, with an available heart to work through me as He sees fit. This isn’t just a part-time gig. In order to have an available heart I need to keep my eyes on him and not the things or people around me.
“He must become greater; I must become less” John 3:30
We must be empty of self before the Holy Spirit can fill us.
If I do not hold on to these truths now when life is so much “easier” than it will be in a few months, how will I handle life in a different country, thousands of miles from family and comfortable life? I will fail. Miserably so.
Like a pot of water being brought to a boil, I know that this next year of my life on the race will be a time of purification, with all impurities and ways I fall short coming to the surface to evaporate, as the Living water begins to take its place in me.
I am praying that as I re-surrender the selfish, prideful and impatient person I am from month to month at the feet of Jesus, that He will resurrect the good, confident and loving person He created me to be.
Hoping you challenge yourself to do the same.
in Him,
Amelia Rose
