Oh boy, it’s been a crazy week…on Wednesday me and my squad found out that our route was being cancelled and we all had to pick a new route from the remaining 3. That was so hard for me to do…one because I was pretty set on the countries we were going to, heck I picked that route all because of the fact it was going to Uganda. Two, I absolutely, with all of my heart, LOVE my squad, each and every person on there is amazing and we’ve put in a whole year of getting to know each other, pouring into each other. My heart was set on spending the next year with these crazy, hilarious, loving, goofballs and when I found out that they were splitting us up my heart just about broke. Sure, we’re having to change countries, but that was always a possibility, that was something I was more willing to be flexible with…but my squad? My Family? No way was that ever a thought in my mind, it’s not something I was prepared for and I’m still processing it 3 days later and probably will continue to do so as time goes on. I’m not good with change, I don’t like it, I don’t want it. You have change? You can keep it. But that’s not how being a missionary works. One of the most important things you need to remember is “Flexibility”. Things change- countries, ministries, day to day plans…teams…
So…change…today I found out my new route, Route 4, U Squad. We’re going to South Africa, Swaziland, Mozambique, India, Nepal, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Guatemala, Honduras and Nicaragua. I know God has something awesome planned and that there is some reason He had our route cancelled and had our squad split up. I know that whatever it is it wouldn’t be possible without this change, but that doesn’t make it any easier or make it hurt any less. My new squad seems great so far, but its still hard. It’s hard feeling like the outsider, the newbie, coming into a new group that has also had a year of pouring into each other and getting to know everyone and me coming in with only 2 weeks before meeting them, I feel like an intruder. I hate that feeling. The feeling that I don’t quite belong. I truly hope and pray that those feelings disappear in the next few weeks, that I get to know these people, my new family, that I fit in and that God uses this to make me stronger and to further his plans.
U Squad, I hope ya’ll are ready for my craziness…because here I come!
