Wanna get into the mind of me?? Here are the top five things I constantly have been thinking about ever since saying “Yes” to God’s plan for the next year of my life.
1. Fundraising
Even though God is providing like crazy, fundraising is never off your mind until you’re fully funded. Boy, what a breath of fresh air that will be when I see that day!
But God is teaching me how to depend on him, and comforting me in the fact that He is the ultimate provider. When I put my faith in Him daily to move in the hearts of people to support me, he blesses me in all kinds of ways!
2. Blogging
I can’t count how many unpublished blogs I have. It’s easy to sit down and journal how you feel about things, but to do it in a way for the public to see, it’s challenging. Seriously, how can I write a small enough blog, so all my readers will not feel overwhelmed, and keep everyone interested, all the while trying to get my point across? Talk about tough! Especially for a girl who was never strong in the whole writing/grammar area. Oh, the pressure!
But God is teaching me to be confident in what I feel I need to share with you all. I am learning to allow the Holy Spirit to move so that this simple blog can give you a glimpse into my heart about what I am learning and how I am processing this whole journey.
3. Relationships
I can’t even fathom the idea of how to maintain a healthy relationship while gone for so long. It’s hard for me to keep up with people that are not a part of my daily life. (I know, I know. Don’t judge me. It’s a weak point of mine. I’m workin’ on it alright) I know that my relationships back home are going to be pushed and challenged in every way possible.
But God is showing me that I am going to have to lean on Him more than I ever have before. I will have to choose to be satisfied in Him every day. I will have to seek His Godly love and be ok with the fact that an earthly relationship is not what He has in store for me right now.
4. Health/comfort
Let’s face it. I’ll be going to a lot of different countries and eating a lot of different foods. I have already accepted the fact that I may be puking my guts up on a 30 hour travel day, in a jam packed bus, driving in the heat. Also having to use the bathroom in the African dessert, smelling things that will make me gag, and being dirty all the time. I don’t know about y'all, but that just doesn’t sound like loads of fun to me…
But God is showing me to trust that he will take care of me by providing everything I need in those moments. He is the ultimate Healer and I have to trust that whatever sickness comes my way that His healing hand will rest upon me.
5. Time
As each day passes and time gets closer, I find it hard to think about leaving behind people I love. Time is a precious thing, and at the end of every day I realize that I am slowly running out of it. As I sit and listen to my friends plan events/trips for the upcoming year, I am reminded that I will not be here to experience those moments with them. Being gone an entire year means I will be left out of a lot of things. Weddings, showers, parties, late night hang outs, random weekend get-a-ways, and family functions.
But God reminds me of the precious children I will get to love on, the women who need to hear that there is someone who loves them who doesn’t pay by the hour, and a Gospel that God is allowing me to share with people all over the world. Suddenly, none of those come-and-go moments matter when you look at things through His eyes.
So there ya have it. The top five things I think about daily. I swear I’m not crazy; I’m just a girl who is stepping out into the unknown. Every day I go on this roller coaster of emotions, from one extreme to the other. I go from being so excited by the way God is providing, to stressing out at the thought that I still have 12,000 dollars left to raise. I write one blog that is everywhere with my thoughts and another that seems like I have it all together. I have moments where my heart just wants to stay here and enjoy the people that God has put in my life, and other moments where I can’t wait to get away from everyone. I sit and wallow at the thought that my best friend could possibly be getting married while I’m away, to thinking of all the great moments I will experience with a family I am so excited to meet. This is all just a part of this incredible journey God has me on. Nothing about this has been easy, but I have enjoyed every part of it.
