The Grinch’s X-Ray

Somewhere in Colossians there are three little words packin' a punch for me lately:
 

"And be thankful…"

 

Sounds easy enough, but I don't always feel thankful. I don't feel thankful when I'm sweating buckets+letting everyone within a mile radius know about it. Or when I sarcastically gasp at the cabbage soup we're having…again…with another side of white rice.
 

I'm discovering the importance of being thankful. Being thankful changes people. Being thankful moves hearts. It drowns out lies. It silences insecurity. It cures fatigue. It prevents pity parties-the one's where everyone else is having a blast+you're the pissant in the corner refusing to join in, wishing you could.

 

I'm thankful to be here. 

 

I have to be thankful-I don't deserve to be here. I've done nothing to deserve to get to live in this tropical paradise. To get to pour into seven of the most encouraging girls I've ever met+to get the honor of baptizing one o' them. To get to hang out with the Thai girls every night-to get to tell them they have worth
and value.
 

When I don't feel thankful, I need to command my soul to be thankful. There's always something to be thankful about.
 

Sounds easy enough-it's easy enough to write all that jazz above+maybe even know it, but to believe= different ball game.
 

This week, I watched hearts break. I practically saw them bust open. It's as if I had that little animated
X-ray(the one that shows the Grinch's two-sizes-too-small of a heart)
 

My entire team got the news about a dear friend we've made being sold to Hong Kong-cue animated
X-ray+ shattering of hearts…tears…ugly+silent cries. 

 

It sucked.

Let's just say thanksgiving wasn't exactly the first thing that came to mind. I ran downstairs because "I forgot my shoes"(aka, can't stand crying in front of people+ had to let something out of my frustrated powerlessness)
 

Being thankful is a choice. My choice to be thankful after that kick in the head=remembering what God says. I remembered that at the beginning of the week He gave me a word for our team-I just didn't know we'd actually have to believe it…and so quickly…

 So, somewhere deep down, truth rang/rings that "we hold onto hope as an anchor for our soul, firm, and secure."(Hebrews 6:19)

 
And so, somehow, somewhere anchored deep inside-past emotions+feelings, past what we see here+now, past the initial brokenness- if you used the Grinch's X-ray again, you'd find that there's thankfulness in me and in my team.