Heard this Bethany Dillon song called “Get up and Walk” for the first time in Nairobi on one particular bummer of a day, and it really spoke to me (as cheesy as that might sound). It was exactly what I needed to hear at the time because it talked about breaking through weakness, deafness, loneliness, etc. and finding the courage to get up and walk. There’s this one line in the song, though, that never really made sense, but I just sang what I thought it said, which was “through the man of my eyes”-not really sure, but thought it had to be referring to Jesus- I was more interested in the “Get up and Walk” part really, since that day I was a lazy sad sack of defeat, and needed a kick in the butt to get goin.
Next=Rwanda and I randomly thought of this Bibe story one day- it was the one in John 9 about the man born blind where Jesus spit in the dirt to make mud to put on his eyes and tells him to go and wash in the pool of Siloam to be healed. I remembered how much I liked that story (probably because Jesus spits, which is cool in of itself) But, as I usually tend to do, I soon forgot about the Jesus spit saga. The cool thing= I kept turning to it every time I opened my Bibe, and I remembered saying to my friend, “I think I’m supposed to preach on this, but I don’t know what.”
Finally Uganda- totally forgot about the Jesus spit story again-until my teammates were asking me what was wrong one day. The blasted story came back to my mind and really clicked with me/ related to what I was trying to say.
I just really identify with the blind guy right now- I feel like where I’m at= I’ve met Jesus and I’ve been through a lot of healing. Jesus has had to put the mud on my eyes, but I haven’t been completely healed because I haven’t gone to the pool yet. I thought I was completely healed, but I had just gotten used to the mud, I think, and now I know I’m not really seeing. I know that the pool exists and where it is to go wash and be free. I also know it’s a long journey- it’s a foreign one that I know will be difficult. The blindness I’ve lived in for so long is comfortable, and even if it’s miserable, it’s normal to me. I’m scared to get uncomfy to go to the pool and wash the mud off. Instead, I’m stumbling around in the dark and going a bit forward to the pool, but running back-hitting my knees on stuff, falling a lot, hurting myself worse, and even dragging some people down with me. I’m choosing to revert to what I’ve always known, instead of obeying and trusting that what the pool offers is worth it.
Final “aha moment” on this whole gig- this morning I was listening to that song, “Get up and Walk” again (for the millionth time) with my friend-one ear bud(I hate that word)each- and she asked me if I realized that it said “through the mud on my eyes”-sweet caroline I had a that’s so raven revelation.
I had no idea that the whole time this mega meaningful song I stumbled upon about three months ago had the Jesus spit story in it too-pretty coo. I’ve seriously been listening to it nonstop since beginning of Kenya and it’s been a huge comfort. Don’t really know what it means, but I guess I’m getting all this stuff that’s semi-connected and kind of helping me if I would just let it.
Either way, it’s cool to have all these things really speaking to me/giving me something to think about and maybe keep going as we get the h outta dodge and kiss Af goodbye. I am going to miss this place- it's been a kick in the head, but in a good way.
