As a team this month we've been trying to work through what it means to "honor" each other and go deeper on this world race because we could easily stay surface level, which would not challenge any of us. As a result of these pretty grown up convo's, we end up having "interventions," which usually include someone being pummeled with questions and discovering how messed up they really are.
My intervention came upon me faster than my teammates can run when we find western toilets…Before I knew it, I was answering like twenty prying questions in a row from my team, who have my best interest at heart, but sweet sissel I felt like I was on Dr. Phil. Anyways, I learned some stuff.
I realized there's a difference between conviction and guilt. Conviction=good, leads to change, brings life, etc. Guilt=condemning, imprisoning, etc. I am a way guilty person- even over really dumb stuff. I realized that I've always tried to take care of things,and I've always felt this responsibility to make everything right. This is a kick in the head because it led me to a way of thinking that leaves me perpetually guilty and sometimes I don't even know why. I have so much guilt for things I've done as well and I think just talking things out made me realize that I haven't really let that verse" there's no condemnation for those in Christ" sink in… so it was cool to talk through it and recognize that I'm unnecessarily guilty too much-mayday, here's to rewiring my thinking and deprogramming my twenty two year old mind.
On a lighter note, V-day was awesome because the two guys on my team surprised us with an amazing dinner, plus three doses of chocolate assortments yo. best Valentine's ever, kickin it Rwandan style.
In the past week we've attended a graduation and a wedding where we've somehow instituted dance parties at both…at one point I was given a flower and asked to say something in front of the crowd, which resulted in chanting Shakira's "This Is Africa" yet again. At another point we were led into this tiki hut-esque place in the back of the wedding and given mugs of warm milk straight from the udder(not sure of what animal) and heaping plates of animal intestines–because of my guilty conscience, my team knows that I will eat whatever no mater what, so I proceeded to perform the gallon challenge right then and there by downing like six cups of milk that my fellow friends couldn't finish.
Here's to my immunity of steel, yes please.
