WOW. WOW. WOW.
So much has happened in the past week, I don’t know where to start. Just last Wednesday I was staying in a hostel in Arusha, Tanzania, and now I am sitting on a church floor in Liepaja, Latvia. In between, there were 18 hours of travel, two nights in Riga, LOTS & LOTS of snow, major culture shock, many trips to the thrift store for winter clothing, and I GOT BAPTIZED!
We knew it would be cold in Riga, but the snowfall that welcomed us as we flew in was an amazing surprise! Snow is unheard of in April, so we knew it was a special gift from God! Many of us had been dreaming and hoping for snow, after spending 9 months in some of the hottest countries in the world. When we stepped off the plane many of us were in shorts, chacos, and t-shirts. As we walked in the freezing
temperatures and snow to the bus stop, we knew some extra clothing was needed ASAP. Through a series of events, several Racers met some Latvian Christians our first night in Riga. This meeting turned into an Easter miracle! Several families from this church pulled together and cooked dinner for all 50 of us on Easter AND collected tons of extra shoes, boots, jackets, and winter clothing from their congregation to give us at no cost! They also let us use their church building and pool for baptisms and worship. Now THAT is the Kingdom of God! Within 24 hours of meeting our Latvian brothers and sisters, they fed us, clothed us, and shared their entire Easter Sunday.
My squad is the first to venture into Latvia, so it was amazing to see God provide in miraculous ways through His Church! So many times we wonder why we don’t see God provide for our physical needs, but I think that’s because we often don’t give Him the opportunity. In every other country we have visited, we had plans, contacts, and a schedule. We could control the situation, so we did. But here we had nothing: very little money for food and many Racers had NO money for winter clothes. God knew that and since we couldn’t provide for or control the situation, it gave Him the space to move and provide Himself. I want more of that in my life. I want less control and more trust. Because let’s be honest, how much sweeter would life be if I didn’t try to meet every need on my own, but instead trusted God to provide for me? He knows all my needs, even the ones I don’t. I want to live dependent on my Father; I tasted of His generous goodness in Riga and I want more!
Around 4:30 pm on Sunday, I found out baptisms would be taking place at squad worship that night. I was baptized when I was 6 years old, but didn’t really begin following Jesus until I was 14. For the past year, I’ve had a desire to be baptized again, but 3 hours of notice hardly seemed like enough time to “prepare” myself for this event. Several friends on the Race approached me knowing this was a desire and just encouraged me to ask God if this was what I was supposed to do. Little did they know that for most of that day and the days prior, I had been struggling with some anxiety and feeling overwhelmed.
I just didn’t feel like being baptized. I didn’t feel at peace. God and I weren’t at a mountaintop in our relationship and it just wasn’t the “spiritual environment” I dreamed of for this day. I sat on the top bunk in the hostel, asked my Father for His thoughts and surrendered the decision to Him. As we left, I hesitantly stuffed an extra pair of clothes in my bag. As I mentioned earlier, we were blown away by the Church's generousity when we walked in: tons and tons of food for the entire squad and a room full of donated winter clothing and shoes! I wanted to be present and enjoy that moment like everyone else, but I couldn’t. My anxiety was overtaking and I felt so overwhelmed. I snuck off to the balcony to be alone for the first time in weeks…maybe even months. I sat crying, discouraged by my anxiety and feeling defeated, unable to rejoice with my squad. I talked with my Father through the tears and a picture quickly came to mind: an old whittler working very intricately on a piece of wood he held in his hand. I saw the picture, knew what God was saying and this became my prayer:
“God as long as I am in Your hand, You can do whatever you want. Things can be painful and times can be hard, but as long as I am in Your hand and You are working, I am at peace. I trust You.”
Over the past 9 months, I have gotten to know the heart of my Father. I have learned and experienced more of God. And I trust Him, more than anyone else, including myself. So as long as He has me, as long as I am with Him, I am at peace. I find rest.
I knew the power in this moment of choosing God, of trusting Him, of not abandoning Him. It is easy to choose God when things are good, but what about when things are hard? So this is the truth I recall to mind: before the foundations of the Earth, God said “I CHOOSE YOU.” And for the past 9 years, even when I have left Him, doubted Him, used Him, and traded Him, He has continued to say “I CHOOSE YOU.” Now was my turn to choose Him.
And so that’s what I did. I didn’t do it for myself, or for those watching, but to publicly demonstrate my response to Him after all these years.
Two of my leaders and close friends on the Race, Chip and Alyssa, baptized me, and I came out of the water to the sound of my brothers and sisters rejoicing and cheering at the top of their lungs. It was beautiful; I love Jesus!
As for now, my team and Team New Song are spending the month in Liepaja working with a Seventh-Day Adventist Church (FYI: The European SDA church is a lot different than that in America). So far the ministry variety includes assisting with children’s activities, working with local community organizations, and helping the church start a contemporary Sunday service! I am hoping to reach out and work with some youth and college students in the area. We will see! Thanks for the prayers for perseverance as we finish strong our last two months on the field.
I love you all!
