The same girl stands at three different locations around a swimming pool. One is sitting on the side, another is standing in shallow waters and the last is on the edge of the diving board. She has a decision to make: how will she enter the water?
This was a vision my friend Christina had for me while at training camp. And I feel like I have come to this place time and time again while on the Race: in India, when there was no turning back and I had nothing to hold onto but Jesus himself, in Malaysia, when I switched teams and felt the Lord calling me to “ascend the hill”, and now in Tanzania, I literally feel like I am hanging on the edge of the diving board. Each time the Spirit beckons me to more: more wisdom and revelation, more of Himself, and more of the His Kingdom.
But it requires a jump.
Do I trust my Father? Will I remain on the diving board, toes clinched to the surface, fingers squeezing the rail? Or will I jump, knowing my Father will never let me fall but intends to catch me in a pool of greater revelation, love, and identity?
Since being away from America, I’ve realized how much of my “Christianity” was cultural. In these 9 months of being removed, my Father and I have sifted through the traditions, morals, and assumptions many Christians claim back in America. I’ve been able to step back and see the big picture of God’s plan to reconcile the whole Earth. And each day, my team and I walk out our purpose as sons and daughters, heavenly ambassadors, establishing God’s Kingdom on Earth.
I intended to write an entire blog on “Kingdom Reality”, sharing a huge revelation I had last month. The Spirit impressed on my heart amazing, life-changing truth: the Kingdom of God is here and we can walk in this reality now! I now have this great desire to bring the Kingdom of God wherever I go. I want to see communities changed and people restored! I originally began writing an entire blog on this new reality, but quickly realized there’s a lot I still don’t know. I feel like I have the outline, but I’m still waiting on the Spirit to color in more of the picture. If I’m honest there are times of great joy and excitement and other times of immense frustration and confusion. But in times of not understanding, I recall to mind the patience Jesus had with the disciples. The Kingdom of God turned out to be completely different than they anticipated, so it was hard for them to grasp at times. So I try to be patient myself and trust the timing of the Spirit as He brings about greater revelation.
Last week, as I waded through the waters of “Kingdom Reality” and asked for greater understanding, my Father responded with this:
How can I bring the Kingdom of God to communities, if the Kingdom doesn’t reign in my own life? How can I speak out Kingdom realities to others, if I am not believing and walking in them myself?
Let the Kingdom invade.
At church on Sunday, God and I were having a conversation about Twitter. I had made a list of 10-15 things I wanted to tweet the next time I had Internet: shout-outs to friends, funny summaries of life on the Race, links to blogs, etc. But as I was making this list, my heart felt unsettled. Soon, the Spirit started convicting me and without question, I knew what it was about.
I know how dramatic that sounds, but I really believe the enemy deceptively uses social media. We are all in pursuit of identity. We want to know who we are; we want to discover what it’s like to be fully alive. But in that pursuit we get caught up in people’s perceptions and who they want us to be. Social media provides each individual with the opportunity of creating the identity they have always wanted.
Your identity is in your hands.
You post only the pictures that make you appear a certain way, you say certain things, funny, serious, or spiritual, so others perceive you as a certain person, and you accept/reject friends based on wanting to appear super popular with 2,000 friends or too cool with only a select 150. You control how people see you; you create your identity.
I did this on Twitter. I formed an identity based around the attention and affirmation I received from my tweets. Through the things I said, the number of followers I gained, and the retweets and favorites I scored every week, I was creating a persona that would make people like me and find me “super cool”. I know a lot of this sounds crazy, but it’s true.
Sitting in that Tanzanian church, I was convicted of controlling my own identity. How am I supposed to walk in my new identity if I won’t let go of my old? The Spirit promises that if I let go, if I die to myself, I will find new life. But I cannot hold onto both; I have to choose. And as much as I love Twitter, I want the fullness of my new identity. I don’t want anything holding me back. God has so much more for me; more than I could dream for myself. And He knows me far better than I know me, so why not let Him take the lead, as we discover who I was made to be together.
Let the Kingdom invade.
For several years, anxiety was apart of my daily life. While being on the Race, I discovered the root of my anxiety was fear. Fear of people, fear of suffering, fear of being alone, and fear of disappointing others and myself. I took medication to help with the anxiety for several years, but back in Thailand the Lord revealed His desire to heal me; and for the past six months, I have not felt the need to take any medication! Praise God!
This month there have been some days when I felt anxious again. But in the Kingdom of God, I have access to the fullness of peace! God himself is peace and I am one with Him! I am never in lack. Scripture tells us that perfect love casts out fear; it is impossible for the Spirit of God and fear to inhabit the same place. So in these moments, I let the Kingdom invade. I speak peace and rest over my soul and declare the truth the Jesus disarmed the authority of anxiety on the cross. I choose to walk in healing and in the fullness of peace, which is mine in Jesus.
Let the Kingdom invade.
Earlier this month, God showed me what the diving board represented in Christina’s vision. It is the beliefs, traditions, and morals I currently stand on, and most of these beliefs and principles require little faith because they are held by most in American culture. Will I jump? Will I leave what is “normal” to believe, as the Spirit calls me to something greater? To not only have a “relationship” with God, but to experience Him? To taste and to see His goodness, to live in His Kingdom now?
Yes, the girl jumps. She let’s go of her old identity, to fully embrace the new. She leaves behind the things that are “easy” to believe, to walk in greater faith and join her Father in bringing His Kingdom to Earth. What joy, what life!
Let the Kingdom invade!
