I have been addicted to listening to Zac Brown Band's "Colder Weather." It is so good, even after listening to it about a bajilion times. Honestly – I listen to it a lot. Every time I do, it brings me back to Colorado and what I left behind there. I miss it a lot, especially my family there. But I know that God has brought me here for a reason, and that in going back, I'll be a much better version of myself. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me when I get back.
Of course, I say this all understanding that my plans are not necessarily Papa's plans. I love the quote in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe where, in talking about Aslan, it's said of him that "'Course He's not safe. But He's good…" Safe. What a word. No, God is not safe. At least not when it comes to meaning that my plans will always prevail. This idea of safety always brings me to the topic of trust. One thing I've learned in a deeper way in this season of my life is that I can trust God. I can trust him to always work in my best interest.
Some quotes from The Shack reinforce this point::
"Because you don't believe. You don't know that we love you. The person who lives by his fears will not find freedom in my love. I am not talking about rational fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projection of those into the future. To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe I am good nor know deep in your heart that I love you. You sing about it, you talk about it, but you don't know it." (p.151)
"Because you don't believe. You don't know that we love you. The person who lives by his fears will not find freedom in my love. I am not talking about rational fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projection of those into the future. To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe I am good nor know deep in your heart that I love you. You sing about it, you talk about it, but you don't know it." (p.151)
&&
The real underlying flaw in your life, is that you don't think I am good. If you knew I was good and that everything – the means, the ends and all the processes of individuals lives – is all covered by my goodness, then while you might not always understand what I am doing, you would trust me. But you don't." (p. 132)
This does not mean that what I want to happen will happen – often times it's the opposite. But I know that "even though the journey's long and I know the road is hard, yeah the one who's gone before me will help me carry on." God's always with me, He's gone before me and He's with me. He will sustain me in anything that comes along, whether it's hard, easy, bad or good. He is with me. He is helping me, he's reminding me that he is good. Whatever happens, he is perfect, good and trustworthy. He makes me thankful for what I have, whether I have it for a long time or for just a time.
I am so thankful for the people who are in my life. I wish it was easier to convey just how thankful I am – I'm not very good at letting people know with words. Actions, yes. Writing it down, yup. Vocalizing that, not so much. I am thankful for every person who has touched me, for everyone who's let me stay with them, use their vehicles, eat their food, play with their children, spoken life into me, encouraged me, reminded me of my worth and value, given me hope or joy, who've spoken peace over me, prayed for me, inquired about my health- physical, spiritual and emotional; for everyone who has invested in me in some way; thank you.
It's impossible to list off all the people, and I'm afraid that trying to do so will upset of offend people. But, you know who you are. If any of those things describe you, which, if you're reading this they do, then thank you.
