Feedback is something I talked about a few blogs ago. Sometimes feedback looks like how I described it to be in yon blog. Well, our feedback session Wednesday night was similar to that to begin with. And then a shift occured. We had Megan, one of our squad leaders join us and enter into our circle that night. I had given two sentences of constructive feedback and Megan pointed out that what I gave had more to do with me than with helping them to grow. So, my "assignment" if you will was to give the feedback again in a way that would draw their strenghts out of them and help them to grow in a beneficial way.
So, I took the time to write it out and after I gave it again in a more uplifting way, the Spirit decided that He wasn't done with me yet and used Megan as a vessel. Following suit after Megan's observations, the rest of my team jumped on board and really just began to pour into me. In another earlier blog, I've mentioned that I'm not a very vulnerable (define that as you will) person. However, this is one of those areas where I'm finding that the phrase 'It's okay to not be okay, but it's not okay to stay that way' is beginning to be revealed in my life, especially the latter portion of the phrase. I was told and reminded of the fact that God is working on me and using those around me to refine and mold me.
It was absolutely God's timing because the night before I had been journaling about the same topic after hearing the song Live It Out by Abandon and the lyrics :: I think it's time we fall down on our knees and ask God for clarity to wash away our memories of the old way, yeah, and pray that the walls break :: which I think is more than applicable in my journey of vulnerability. Then I wrote :: this is my prayer today God, that I would forget all that I used to be, all that holds me back and become who you created me to be.
So, everyone was filling me with wisdom and pouring into me words, phrases and visions that they received that I needed to hear. This goes along with this blog that I posted earlier in the year. In the span of 2 days, three different people received a vision that had to do with a pearl. Basically, that I am this pearl on the inside of a shell and when the shell opens up, then people will see just how how much of a treasure I am and will see my true beauty.
This was a beautiful time of being uplifted, encouraged and pushed to become more than I am allowing myself to be, that if I just get out of my way and embrace the vulnerability that God has for me: true, beautiful, broken vulnerability, then life would be so much greater and so much less forced.
