While in Ho Chi Minh City I met a lot of women. These women were tiny and mighty, beautifully created with natural talents and strengths. The women of my team were able to live with two incredible Vietnamese women who graced us with their sweet friendships, their generous giving and by acting as our tour guide as we ran around their city. We walked the streets of Ho Chi Minh City during the day and we saw everything any tourist would: we enjoyed $1 smoothies from the infamous “smoothie lady” and her husband, bought $2 sun glasses from saleswomen in the streets, walked by countless massage parlors and nail salons. What tourist wouldn’t love Ho Chi Minh City?
Our innocent perception of the city during the day was shattered as we went back through the streets at night.
Night life in Ho Chi Minh City exposes the darker side of the city; a darker side of humanity.
During the night, women walk the streets selling more than the sunglasses. The sweet, sleepy-eyed children are now hustling, selling gum and performing tricks with fire to earn a little money from the drunk crowds. The tourists who are out at this time all have a lifeless look in their eyes. They are no longer concerned with the beauty, the history or the culture of Vietnam. They are interested in self-centered pleasure.
This self-centered, pleasure seeking heart attitude manifests itself in many ways which devalue women.
On one of my last nights in Vietnam some of my friends and I witnessed self-centeredness in its rawness. A women was walking the streets selling sunglasses and souvenirs. My friends and I were walking and talking, taking in all there was to see when we noticed a large man aggressively approaching this woman with his fist clenched and arm pulled back- ready to swing. The aggressor’s friends were holding him back as the saleswoman kept her composure and kept walking down the street.
We started to walk faster toward her, knowing that the situation was about to get ugly. Before Tellus and I could reach her, two young men rushed her and met her head with their fists. Knocked to the ground, her dignity and merchandise were shattered. We jumped in and did what we could to help: our men jumped in and protected her while Ana and I began to comfort her. As all of this is going on, we realize that no one else even flinched. No one moved from their seats or stopped drinking to even see what was going on. No one could tear their thoughts and actions away from their self-centered pleasures to care about a public act of violence.
This eerie scene felt familiar as I remembered back to my childhood and the similar response to the domestic violence that occurred in my home. People simply did not want to interfere with domestic violence. It is taboo and uncomfortable to address. There are no easy answers. Self-centeredness breeds desires for easy fixes to cover the problem instead of digging deep to remove and heal the root issues. Coming from a home where women were not safe, I have witnessed the isolation that is the result of this self-centered apathy to stand up for the women who need an advocate. It truly is selfish to not get involved, to not advocate for those who are unsafe. Yes, getting involved will interrupt your Sunday afternoon plans to watch football and take a nap. Getting involved will shattered your façade that your neighborhood is filled with good, quality neighbors. Getting involved will destroy the hope that your church is filled exclusively with God-fearing men who love their wives and families.
However, by not getting involved we are deteriorating our society. By remaining silent, there will never be safety for those who desperately need and deserve it. According to a website I recently read, “Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family” (http://www.findcounseling.com/journal/domestic-violence/domestic-violence-statistics.html).
The results of abuse are many and far stretching. It is proven that being a victim of abuse leads to lasting effects such as: shame, inability to trust fully, worry, fears and phobias, unhealthy relationships with other men, misplaced anger and rage, fears of abandonment, ever pressing need to appear perfect to avoid disappointment just to name a few of the effects I have personally seen, witnessed and experienced.
All people- men, women and children of every race and nationality- have been made in the image of God. Since we are all made in God’s image, we are inherently given the rights to be treated with honor and respect. No one ever should be endangered physically, spiritually or emotionally.
Recently there was a wave of attention drawn to end human slavery. While the awareness brings joy to my heart, it saddened me that most of the involvement ended with thousands of people posting a picture on Facebook of their hands with a red X. People proudly marked their bodies and modeled their hands for a good cause, but how good is it if action is not taken to truly change the lives of the people in our communities? I wonder how many people decided to post their picture then go and donate money to a cause. I wonder how many people marked their bodies as they were getting ready to go and volunteer. If we are not actually doing something tangible to love these abused and trafficked women, then we are simply another slap in the face. We see the problem. Yet we continue to sit and scroll through Facebook with no genuine intention to be courageous enough to be the change we say we want to see in the world.
How long will we remain a generation that is only involved through posting pictures and liking a page online?
I have chosen to not allow my self-centered desires for comfort to continue to mask the truth that I can get involved and offer my story to cast hope for others. I have chosen to stand up for the women who have been mistreated and abused, the women who have been enslaved in human trafficking.
Will you?
If you are interested in getting involved in the Lehigh Valley, please click one of the following links and actually get involved:
http://www.turningpointlv.org/
