Having absolutely no clue how God would provide, I began to exercise faith and waiting anxiously for the Lord to move. Little did I know that He was about to teach me how faithful He is to His children.
The weeks following the accident provided some much needed time to recover from my injuries and learning how to just be still. Those were some of my most challenging days last year as I hated being confined to my apartment without the strength or a car to go anywhere. God was teaching me to be still and to have faith- which would become fundamental pillars of truth for what God has for the next chapters of my life.
In self-centered efforts to raise support I mailed out hundreds of letters, handed out prayer cards, made phone calls, planned fundraisers and spent countless hours meeting with people in Panera as I shared my story and asked for their partnership. In between meetings and follow-up calls, I would pray that God would bless my efforts and provide. My perspective was that I would need to work hard in order to earn the money for the race. While I understood that my salvation is by grace through faith, I was under some tainted perception that God would start really working in me once I got myself onto the Race.
My body healed and the insurance company gave me the money to get a new car, and I took off getting started with planning fundraisers. Selling Yankee Candles, t-shirts, Threads of Hope bracelets, a huge and successful yard sale and bake sale, a dodge ball tournament; I had a full calendar, the loving support of my family and church, and a financial spreadsheet which kept track of how far I was in my fundraising. God certainly was blessing all of the work that my family and church did in support of this trip as each fundraiser blew my expectations and provided more support than I could have imagined in my own abilities. Even through the overwhelming blessings, my final weeks before launch felt more like a mini business operation than preparation for a faith journey.
With my final kisses to my family and airline ticket in hand, I boarded the plane to Atlanta with absolutely no idea how I was going to continue fund raising from overseas. Thousands of dollars had been raised and I had seen God work in miraculous ways, but even with my faith growing, I still was not fully trusting in His faithfulness. There were moments where my anticipation for how He would continue to provide overshadowed the wonderful grace that He had already provided so much.
God has had me run this race so that I would realize that I truly need to stop and just sit in His lap as He loves on me. Before I launched, Professor Hardesty (from Cairn University) gave me the charge to “Sit. Stand. Walk.” Sit in Jesus’ lap and know His heartbeat. Stand for truth. Walk in faith. Somehow, I skipped the first one. I am not good at sitting still. I want to be proactive and earn my way. Being a loving Father who knows exactly what I need, He didn’t answer my prayers to be fully funded before launch so that He could demonstrate His love for me through teaching me that I don’t need to worry, I don’t need to try and figure it all out… He has this.
It makes me giddy to see how He provided nearly one half of my support anonymously, countless generous gifts from people I barely know and an overwhelming amount of support from my loved ones at home. Each time a deadline has crept up, He has been faithful to provide- often in ways I would have never predicted.
I am speechlessly sitting in awe of how He has demonstrated His faithfulness over this past year. Not just in providing financially, but in consistently demonstrating His love through showing me more of who He is and the beautiful world He created.
Reflecting my heart attitude a year ago, I was very much like Jeremiah, saying: “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how [this will work out], for I am only a youth” (Jeremiah 1:6). Even in my self-centered attempts to earn my way, He was faithful in bringing me right to the place where He wanted me so that He could demonstrate His faithfulness. God’s response to Jeremiah’s doubts: “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’; for to all whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak” (Jeremiah 1:7). He has called me to proclaim the Gospel and He will not take into account what I think I can offer. He doesn?t care about my age, my gender, my abilities- He just wants me to submit and watch Him demonstrate His faithfulness.
