If you had told me five years ago that I was going to be a missionary, I would have given you a strange look and shook my head. I grew up thinking that a missionary was this “perfect person.” In my mind, a missionary was someone who could quote the bible without hesitation. Someone who never made mistakes and was never questioned or doubted Christ. Well, I am not that person. Quite the opposite, actually.
I am incredibly thankful to have known Jesus all of my life. My parents took me to church before I could even walk. Some of my favorite childhood memories were attending Sunday school at my church in Prescott, AZ and my mom reading the children’s bible stories before bed. I have KNOWN about the Lord my whole life, but as I got older, I kept Him at arm’s length. Because of insecurities that I had, I didn’t take the steps needed to truly start a relationship with Him.I started to live my life for me, in my own way, and not for the Lord.I was filling my life with sinful behaviors, instead of refilling my life with the Spirit of the Lord. This life was empty and led me down paths that made me feel like I wasn’t worthy to serve the Lord or to have a relationship with Him. I felt like Adam and Eve-I was hiding from the Lord. I was hiding my heart from Him, because I felt ashamed of my sins. I was scared to fully hand my heart or my life over to God, but i always wanted too.
The relationship I have now with the Lord definitely didn’t happen overnight. I didn’t really have that one defining moment that changed me forever. That “magic moment” that made me want to turn my life around and start growing closer with the Lord. Rather, I had multiple experiences through a span of many years. Almost like climbing steps. Each small moment took me up another step and closer to His Kingdom. What I found is that I could have a million life changing situations but not take another step closer to Christ. I had to make the commitment to climb the stairs. I had to get over the lies I was telling myself; that I messed up too badly in the past, that i was not “liked” or I was “unqualified,” and the list goes on and on. I had to to get overs these insecurities. Above all, I had to forgive myself and love myself to continue up the steps. 2 Corinthians 5 :17 (NIV) says “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: old has gone , and the new is here.” We are not this damaged, worn-out mess that we make ourselves believe. I now know, and believe, He thinks we are all beautiful inside and out and by having a relationship with Him, He can make us brand new. If God can forgive us, then we certainly can forgive ourselves.
One of my favorite verses is John 8:7(NIV), when the Pharisees brought an adulterous woman and tried to stone her.They told Jesus that it was the law of Moses and it was right to do so. Jesus said “If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone.”
Fun side story: when I graduated from high school, my church gave a bag full of small gifts. One of the gifts inside was a stone with a cross on it. I always keep it with me as a reminder that I don’t have to be a perfect person to serve the Lord. He died for us, to save us from our sins and He loves us regardless. We don’t deserve his amazing love and kindness but he gives it to us nevertheless.
So how does this relate back to the World Race and how did I find out about this mission opportunity? Even through my tough times, I still went to church. There was always something deep down that moved me. It called me to keep going and keep searching. One Sunday morning when I was 12 a couple from our church , who I now think of as extended family, came to my Sunday School class with letters from an orphanage in Ethiopia. On the sheet was the message from the child on the top, with the translation under it. On the bottom was space to write back. I remembered being touched by the children’s letters and wanting to go and meet and help these children. Well God is so good and He works in the craziest ways, because in 2015 I did! Eight years after reading those letters, I traveled to Ethiopia on a mission to the same orphanage where the letters had come from. To say this trip changed me is an understatement. I felt this closeness with the Lord. Something that I had been seeking for many years. It blew my mind everyday and It was such a blessing to be able to travel across the world to spread God’s good news!
One day, while in Ethiopia, I was having lunch with a missionary that frequently visited the orphanage. He had a similar experience that I had when he first came to Ethiopia. I asked him what he did afterwards. He told me about something called the World Race. He explained it was an 11 month mission trip to 11 different countries. At this moment I knew there was no question that this was something I was going to do. I felt it in my gut. “Yep”, “Yep” THIS is what I wanted to do. I knew from the start that I was being called. When I returned home from Ethiopia, I researched the program, prayed for direction, wisdom, and strength and submitted my application. The Lord is so great!
One of the things I have embraced is that the Lord does not work in “No’s”. He only answers “Yes,” “Not Yet,” and “I have something better for you.” When I first applied it wasn’t quite my time. At first I was hurt. I prayed and professed how I was ready and how I wanted to spread His word around the world. His answer came back- “Not Yet”. During the next six months I learned just how awesome He is. I took that time to learn and continued to grow in the Lord. My faith deepened and one day I knew that NOW was the time to re-apply. This time, his answer came back -YES!
Each day I am still growing in and learning about the Lord and it is a quest I hope never ends. I can’t wait to follow the Lord to 11 different countries. I can’t wait to use my hands and gifts for his purpose. I can’t wait to keep him the center focus of my life.
Now you know my story! Please come with me and be apart of my World Race. There are many ways you can be part of this amazing journey. Primarily, I ask you keep me in your prayers! As I prepare for my journey and while I am doing God’s work, your prayers will be my strength and resolve as I move forward. If my story has touched you, please consider making a donation. No donation is too small and all donations will help me as I do God’s work. Finally, consider sharing this blog and my journey with others.
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Our God is so COOL !
