The last blog I posted I wrote right before bed. When I laid back down I could not sleep, God wanted something. He wanted to speak to me about what I had written and little did I know but it was really about what was to come.
“After moving to California and working at Bethany for a year I thought I was done working at churches for a while. I knew the race would change a lot but I didn’t want to claim church work as my future because I felt discarded and dismissed from church work. I didn’t feel wanted or worthy of anything but an internship.”
This is what kept me up that night. God told me I could leave you all with this line that I had to share more.
intern
noun
‘?nt??n/
- 1.
a student or trainee who works, sometimes without pay, in order to gain work experience or satisfy requirements for a qualification.
Since God ignited my heart for youth ministry, which was close to the start of my college career, I have been in some sort of an intern position for various churches at various times. Freshman year I got involved at ACF starting with their Disciple now weekend, eventually leading a small group, going to summer camp, fall retreat, stepping in for a internship to fill in and then a summer internship. After that season I worked with POG my entire senior year. All this followed by a full time internship in California with Bethany.
Nothing was ever promised to me after any of these- not one conversation about real job opportunities but there is always expectation and desire.
I fell in love a little bit with all of these churches, students, staff, and parents. So naturally each time the season came to an end it was painful.
It just never felt like I was good enough for more. I get praise and encouragement but it’s always seemed like nothing I could do would satisfy. It didn’t matter if I was super intern or 500 kids came to youth group I was never going to get out of the intern spot.
I have worked, hard. I have worked with and without pay, I have fulfilled requirements and qualifications. SO why? Why has the opportunity never come to drop the intern title?
This above is what I wrote that night when I couldn’t sleep. I thought this was it and I went to bed.
A few weeks later we had Month 8 debrief in Romania and a girl from g42 leadership academy came. Her name is Kaitlyn, she is a WR alumni and she in on staff at G42. She had plans to speak to our group later in the week but was hanging out so a couple of us grabbed her for coffee. She shared stories and poured into us,and chatted about g42.
To back track I had heard of g42 before. It’s a leadership academy that a lot of racers go to but is not connected to Adventures in Mission or the World Race. They had tracks like leadership and media which never attracted me.
While at coffee my attitude changes the minute Kaitlyn says the tracks are no more. I start to hang on each word that followed and then she said it.
We call our participants interns.
God immediately said I am going to redeem that title. This is why you never got the opportunity to drop the title. This weight I have been carrying for years is now going to be transformed into a plan for the years to come. At g42 I am going to enter into a community and be mentored and led into what God has for me.
What does this look like?
I return home from this adventure in late November and I will work and FUNDRAISE at home. G42 is in Spain and my 6 month program will begin in April.
I would love partners in making the next steps God has for em a reality. You can hear my heart and get more information by emailing me at
http://www.g42leadershipacademy.org/#
Meanwhile still on the race we are loving Romania. We are part of the mobile team that gets to serve in villages and last week some racers had their parents here as a part of Parent Vision Trip and most of our squad got to be apart of it! We will be in Romania for about two weeks and we head to Moldova next!
Thank you for your continued support, love and prayers it keeps me going.
Also check out this video my squad mate Doug made, it’s of our time in Thailand!
http://vimeo.com/106569679
