I love the race and what it brings out in racers. I love what people notice most about me on the race, it shows me things I might not have realized about myself.
There are a couple things that my race family have learned that were of no surprise to me.
- My obnoxious love for all things Austin, Texas.
- My love for music.
I really could blame number one for number two. Austin has one of the best live music scenes and when I was in school there I fell in love with live music. It’s one thing to fall in love with an artist or a record but to hear it live makes it complete. An artist can’t hide flaws or cover up flat notes in a live show. We can tell if they lip sync or if they have no personality.
They can’t hide.
The world race has made me see this beauty in my own life.
We are born and bread to perform, to behave. If you are going to be yourself.. your broken, messy, miss behaving self, do it in private.
I mastered this as a child. I had a bad temper as a kid (probably another subject for another blog) so at home I would be a brat but outside the house I was an angel. I was great at putting on a show and making my mom look good… until doors were closed.
Ugly. Covered up. Charade. Fake.
That’s what I think when I hear the music on the radio sometimes all auto tuned and remastered to make people sound like they can sing… it sucks.
So does behaving.
In Nepal on a hike my squad leader Alys was sharing about life and Jesus and behaving came up. She said God doesn’t want us to behave.
God doesn’t want your good behavior.
This is huge for me. God wants our ugly, he wants our covered up, he wants our charades, he wants our fake. He wants us as is. He wants to get to the issue under the behavior, he wants to expose and HEAL our hearts.
Gosh that’s good news!!!
You don’t have to have it all together.. if you do I don’t want to see what it looks like behind closed doors.
In this season I am embracing live performances- I am embracing realness and trying to let my WR family see me, ugly and all.
Because y’all sin is ugly, and if we want to get past our sin struggles we have to get them out and ask for help.
I am not perfect. I am selfish, greedy, lazy, and mean, but I have Jesus. Each time I let those not so pretty representations of sin out I invite my family to call me out of that and to give me the grace I am so undeserving of.
That’s the gospel. That’s the good news. That is the reason I am here to share that good news with the world.
LIVE is just so much better.
Friends I am so close to being fully funded- LESS THAT 3,000- I know that is a lot of cash but God is good and has done unbelievable things through YOU. I need the rest of that money by July 1st, so if you feel led I would love for you to partner with me in this. We have just about a week and a half left in Thailand and then we head to Cambodia! I can’t wait to see what God has for us there and to share it all with you.
