Old ladies and corn!!

About one minute in, I noticed women making faces at me when I started talking about how God sees them.  I mean, they were literally looking at me like I was crazy.  I realized that they needed to hear what I had to say just as much as anybody else.  I pushed forward.  At the end, I opened it up for discussion, and some women actually answered questions.  I was totally floored when they started cracking smiles and interacting with us.  You just don’t understand how cold they seemed when they walked in.  They ended up singing us songs.  We sang them some songs.  There was a massive amount of hugging and even some awesome prayer time afterwards.  It was amazingly cool to see God working that day. 

I have just been realizing in the past few weeks God’s love for me.  It is incredible.  I’m on this mission trip to show God’s love to other people.  I have found that when I try, sometimes I get so blocked up.  I find myself afraid, or unable to find the words to speak.  I get really self-conscious.  I have learned to step out more and more this month.  God has been teaching me SO MUCH about obedience and trust.  I get afraid and blocked up because I don’t trust God.  I show that I don’t trust God by not being obedient.  But he always tells me to do things that are so difficult!!  haha.  I am learning to trust God. 

 

                     

One day I was getting upset about something and I decided to go for a walk through the cornfields.  Well, really what I was doing was pacing back and forth and praying and thrashing around on the road through the cornfields.  As my relationship with God has grown, my vision has become so much more clear.  I was just feeling really crappy and as I was walking, I was identifying the attack of the enemy and rebuking him and his lies.  I was continually pacing back and forth.  I couldn’t stand still.  Everything inside of me wanted to just move and run and walk and just NOT be still.

Then, I hear God’s voice as clear as day, “Amanda, stand still”.  So I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  Then i opened them and looked around.  the breeze was blowing gently.  The corn stalks were rustling in the breeze.  My feet were dirty and dusty from stomping around on the dirt road.  I felt the awesome rays of sun beaming down on my skin.  I saw birds flying in the sky and the sky was filled with puffy white clouds.  I forgot about my own emotional issues.  I closed my eyes again.  “Amanda, I will NEVER leave you!  You are RIGHT where you are supposed to be”.  He told me to stop doubting and to just BELIEVE.  He told me about how much he LOVES me and how I can’t do anything to change that.  He just kept talking to me.  It was the first time I felt like he called me by NAME!  He usually addresses me as child.  But he called me by my name!  Later he showed me the corn stalks and reminded me that they don’t do anything but grow.  They grow where they are planted.  He provides everything for them and they just grow.  He told me, “Grow where you are planted!”. 

So my goal is to continue to just grow where I am planted!!