The other night Elizabeth was sharing with us her reflections on the race and how different all of our lives are going to be in 6 months when we’re home. This is always food for thought, as we continue further into this journey, discovering our true selves.
During this specific time of reflection the other night, Elizabeth asked us what has been the biggest thing God has done in ourselves – what we are most thankful for. All 7 of us sat in silence, letting our minds take us to the past 7 months of our lives. Through all of the churches, all of the faces and names now engraved in our hearts, all of the cultural food, and all of the conversations had with one another. I was instantly taken back to my first month on the race, to our comfortable house in Romania. In my mind I was going through my morning routine of a devotional before insanity and a shower, and to the conversations we all had with one another to and from the church. I was reminded of the overwhelming feeling of belonging in the small community I was living with, two different teams at the time, yet confused at how I could feel so free with people that didn’t know me at all. They didn’t know that I can’t stand when seconds are left on the microwave screen, or that I received my first pink slip in 5th grade for swinging upside down. They didn’t know about my heartaches or celebrations……. But they still loved me and made sure I knew it, not so much in the words they would share with me, but the way they shared with a genuine heart. I remember falling asleep in my bunk, thinking about all of the stubborn routines I was trying to still hold on to, but having the sense of it not mattering. I was more comfortable around these people and in this lifestyle than I had been in such a long time. I remember sitting on the cold floor during worship, being constantly overwhelmed with awareness of my God. Absolutely overwhelmed with the work he were starting in me. He was exploding my soul with light; revealing my insecurities one at a time, breaking chains off of me… lies of inadequacy, unworthiness, stagnancy, pride… and there he was, ready to fill all of those new voids with himself and his light. He was not only speaking directly to my heart, but he was using everyone around me to build me up as a new daughter of his.
The other night when Elizabeth asked us to reflect on God’s movement in our lives over the last 7 months, I didn’t think I would be so easily overcome with emotion, and so quickly taken to what God has been doing in me the most. I usually think about how he has brought my voice out, increased my confidence, and called me higher. All very good movement, but this time I was brought to a simpler truth about his majesty. He has chased me all around the world just to show me how much he loves me, and how he didn’t waste any time in the process. People always joked that I was going to find my future husband during this year, and that I was going to make some lifelong friends. I laughed at both a bit, not taking them too seriously, because I was in a comfortable place before leaving. But I often tell my teammates how incredibly thankful I am for them in my life, because I have never had friends like I do here on the World Race. Little did I know how much love there is for me. Little did I know how much God wanted to shower me, overwhelm me, with his unfailing love. His love is not conditional on my actions, or my thoughts, it’s bigger than that… which is not easily comprehendible for us humans. I am humbled by how significantly insignificant I am in my God’s eyes, and how he plucked me out of my hum drum search of the “American Dream” of success, so that he could chase me around the world to solely pursue me.
In reality, we are all children of the Most High, and he desires to pursue us all. It’s a matter of recognizing his chase, and allowing for his love to soften us from the soul outward. He desires for us all to be under his protective wings of refuge. He is our rock, and our one salvation – the invitation into true life. How is God pursuing you right now? Because I know he is. Open your eyes to the gifts he places in front of you, open your ears to his whisper, and open your hearts to soak in the love we were all created for.
