As I concluded in my last blog… I love Nepal. Nepal did something in my heart that I am eternally grateful for. I walked into Nepal feeling lightness in my spirit as I was overwhelmed with joy from the locals and the environment itself. My voice was activated, and accompanied with a confidence that only comes from Father. He spoke to me like I have never heard before and I feel closer to him that I have in my life. He was stimulating things inside of me that I didn’t know I had, and pulling forth qualities that I didn’t know where inside. I have had team leading on my heart ever since training camp, but was hesitant to embrace it because I didn’t know if it was only my desire and not God’s. I didn’t want to focus on it, and expect anything, because I didn’t want heartbreak again like I had at training camp.
About a week ago, A Squad met up in Kathmandu for our mini de-brief. This included some quality time spent with RADIANT, some legit worship, and the premeditated/unknown… ‘team changes’. We have two squad leaders that have been with us for these past three months that have already completely the WR, and they head home after the fourth month. Mini de-brief is utilized to rise up two new squad leaders, some more team leaders, and change people’s teams around. Everyone was freaking out, and if not verbally out loud, definitely inside. I was pulled in to talk to Christy and Phillip for a check up on my month, and they used this opportunity to tell me that I was selected to team lead, along with Stephanie May and Wes Web. We were given an hour to decide if this was God’s will for us and come back to them with an answer. I sat on the roof of Hotel Himalaya Yoga and prayed hard to Jesus in thanksgiving, for guidance, in submission, and in deep love.
God gave me John 21: 17b-19…
Exactly what I need from him.
I accepted and was given my team (after a super long and dramatic process) and when I pulled the piece of paper out of that envelope in the garden I was overwhelmed with peace. I can do this! Sitting in the unknown is so difficult, but it taught me to rely on Jesus that he is going to take care of me.
I am stepping into a completely new season here on the race. I am leading six women through my and their journey. Jesus sees greatness in me that I don’t always see, and he has called me forth for such a time as this. Satan’s lies continuously try to creep in…… ‘your team doesn’t like you’ – ‘you’re not good at this’ – ‘you’re not paying enough attention to everyone and they all notice it’ – ‘the other team leaders are doing a better job than you at this’ – ‘you don’t know what you are doing and everyone sees that’…… I am daily examining myself for these ugly lies, and praying them off so that nothing but Jesus can manifest inside of me.
My race looks different now, and my ministry is not only these 11 countries, but these women, and that excites me more than I can understand. I am thrilled to get to know them all at a bottomless level. I know that I am running hard after Jesus and I want them to run with me. I am slightly daunted with the weight that the title ‘Team Leader’ holds in my head, and being here to spiritually lead these women. I am soaking in all that I can from the Word and from what Jesus wants to teach me, and this is where all I can do is rely on the Lord to fill me with the words and actions to lead. I wasn’t called forth on accident, and the affirmation and encouragement I received the night after teams were established was obviously from God; telling me that I am like the gears of a machine, power housing through this and onto what is to come. Hearing that from numerous people within a few minutes of each other boosted me up, and I am carrying that into this new season. I am continuously taken to Psalm 23 – and it has been the psalm pulling me through a lot on this race so far.
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
We are safe and sound here in Bangalore, India staying at a YWAM base. We are living with the YWAMers in a close community, something that I have come to appreciate more and more. Our ministry is a smorgasbord of things this month; evangelism, to street ministry, to teaching in schools, to putting on Christmas programs, to giving sermons, etc. I still feel the need to recover and catch my feet from all the change that has happened in the last few weeks… and to get ready for what this new season is going to hold for me and my team!
P.S. – next blog… introduction to Team Kindle!!
