I didn’t anticipate spiritual warfare to start this early.
Last Monday I received an email from a friend saying, “Spiritual warfare can hit like crazy. But also expect God to do great things through those times as well. God’s going to take the strengths you have, and that all of us have seen and mold them…”
The last week has been really hard. Work. Personally. Emotionally. I have been exhausted and feeling so run down. I don’t think I realized how hard it was or how worn down I was until last night at small group.
Let me back up.
Working as a preschool teacher is exhausting to begin with, this year I have a few challenging children. One has a melt down almost everyday, it can be the tiniest thing that sets her off, and the meltdown escalates at the speed of light and can last for twenty minutes to an hour. It is quite a sight to behold. Last week it was once a day. This week has been no different.
One of the teachers I work with came back from her break on Friday and said to me “I don’t know what is more exhausting, managing meltdowns or diffusing bombs.” The sentence explained exactly my feelings from the whole week. A few other incidents happened that week that wore me down, combined with a very busy weekend; I was drained by Sunday night. Not a good place to be in when returning to work on Monday. I got more sleep Sunday and Monday night than I normally do and I still felt like I was going to fall over from exhaustion.
Last night when going through prayer requests I said I have had a horrible attitude at work recently, every little thing sets me off. I have been complaining, gossiping, irritable, impatient, judgmental, short tempered and quick tounged.
None of these qualities emulate Christ. I am one of maybe three people at my work that can show others Christ in my attitude. I have been placed in my job to love those children and love my coworkers even when they irritate me. I have failed at showing them Christ.
Carmen and Natalie told me when I am driving into work, when I am walking in the doors, and when I walk into my classroom I have to be praying and inviting the Holy Spirit into that room, into that building and into my world. That is my job. That is why I am there. When that child, who I will call Sarah*, has a melt down I have to be praying blessings over and into her life. I may be the only one in her life that is praying for her. They reminded me of why I am where I am. It is not by accident that I work at that school. God placed me there to pray for these children!
How cool is it that I get to be the one to pray for these children?!
For their parents?!
For my coworkers?!
For my bosses?!
Today as I drove into work I prayed, I prayed over the day, and over Sarah. As I walked through the front doors I prayed. And as I entered my classroom I invited the Holy Spirit to join me for the day! You cannot imagine how quickly God started working in my heart and on my attitude! The fatigue seems to disappear, the children listened and followed directions, and when Sarah started having her first meltdown I picked her up, comforted her and prayed blessings over her life. The rest of the day was easy peasy, in comparison to the last week! During naptime for the first time in weeks I wasn’t exhausted. I started reading Radical, which only continued to remind me of my mission in life. Love God, love others how He would love them.
Thank you Lord for your constant grace and mercy in my life when I am so wretched. Thank you Lord for the amazing, and when I say amazing I mean AMAZING, women you have placed in my life. They speak truth and wisdom, they challenge me and remind me of my job when I lose sight of it.
*Natalie told me to make up a name for the child, I happen to pick Sarah, which means princess!
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. – Ephesians 6:11-13
