I’m currently avoiding packing for month three of my third World Race, but I wanted to share a letter I wrote my second squad. One of my first realizations of departing the USA in January was that I would miss a squad reunion in New Orleans. While I was in India, I wrote them this letter.
I like to think the wisdom of being vulnerable and sharing stories applies to anyone who reads this. And that encouragement follows closely after stepping out in those things.
Hey J squad,
In case you missed it, I’m currently in India with my third squad. Just goes to show you God’s plans are bigger than ours.
I never thought I would be doing this again. And in the craziness that has been my life the past two months, I’ve been thinking so much about my J squad. I miss you all.
I’m sitting on an oversized chair under a ceiling fan (praise the lamb) in a big Indian villa. I had chai tea three times today. And super good street food for breakfast (holla).
It sounds like race heaven, but the reality is the toilet paper goes in the trash can, I share my bed with three others, the house was without water this morning, so I go yet another day without a shower (bucket, mind you). I’m wearing the same clothes from yesterday. I’ve answered 84 questions today, struggled with squad finances (it’s not a simple spreadsheet anymore), and had a cockroach crawl on my foot during worship. I have to eat with my right hand (the struggle is real, Kai.) I have an 8 hour bus ride to the boonies on Monday. We can’t get SIM cards to work. I can handle all of that. It comes with the territory of Race life. It really just makes me laugh that this is my life again.
The biggest struggle is that I don’t really know anyone yet. And I don’t feel known.
And that is the really difficult part for me. And it’s hitting a deeply rooted fear. It came out big and ugly last Tuesday. Thankfully, Papa is good and patient with me. Because He knows me.
I know that time will come when I will realize I am known by and know my squad. But it’s a vulnerable thing to realize that we just aren’t there yet. I want to dive in with people that get me and people that know me.
But a big group of them are eating beignets in NOLA. And I’m so glad.
I’m so so so elated that so many of you made the sacrifices necessary to meet up again and take in some new adventures together. I hope you reminisce and remember the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad, the hilarious and the down right inspiring parts of your world race journey. I hope you take some time on your ways home thanking Papa for the journey that began a few years ago and the friendships that still grow today because of it.
I hope you thank him for the times you get to swap stories again with people that “get it” and for those people that he let travel alongside you.
This weekend, I hope you take some time to walk back into each other’s stories beyond the old memories and making new ones grabbing a cafe au lait or exploring the French quarter. These things are wonderful and be grateful for them for sure.
But my biggest hope is that you instead share the “so much has happened” stories.
The ones of the joys and the sorrows since you last embraced each other. Share the nitty gritty of the mistakes and grace. Share your struggles and the absolute wins in your life. You’re family after all.
Don’t let the distance and time fool you. Odds are, someone can relate to what you’re walking in, through or out of. And maybe just maybe, someone will look at you and say, “me too.”
Celebrate the joys with everyone. Embrace the one that’s been lonely. Laugh with someone who can’t stop wanting to add extra napkins to their purse, just in case. Remind someone that their giftings aren’t lost, just forgotten and that they can walk in them again. Give the hard word. Encourage someone to keep going after their vision.
Pray together, sing together. Make this weekend the memory of when you found reunion with a people that know you, hear you and love you. And if you need a reunion with Papa, I hope you meet with him in Nola too. After all, it’s with His provision and timing that J squad happened and He’s done it again this weekend for you.
I love you people, more than words can express.
Amanda
P.S. I’ll be in SE Asia until June if you need me 🙂
As previously mentioned, I’m heading into my third month (or the halfway point for my time on the field). I am in need of $1500 for my next deadline and would love to make a dent in this before I move into a closed country. Any donation helps and I’ll enter you into a drawing for a souvenir from Thailand. Thanks!
