11/12/10
So I’m loving my time in Nica at New Song Mission. My team and I have done some awesome things this past week. We have had good ministry time as well as just a lot of fun together as a team. The days of the week are blending together . I feel like there are so many things going on that it’s hard to even know where to start. I should have blogged sooner. I’ll try to tell you the highlights. We have settled in, spent some time with the youth, had a game night, went to the clinic, visited homes and prayed for the sick, had Spanish class, worshipped in English and Spanish, went to the beach overnight and stayed at a hostel, went to Leon, talked to the goats J, and I sang with the band in Church Sunday night. Another thing that has been great is getting to know Lisa and Diego. Both are North American’s that have lived here awhile. Lisa did the WR two years ago and came here. She loved it here. She was here during month two of her race, just like my team and continued to think about Candarleria throughout the rest of her race. She decided to come back and live. Her love for the people here is so evident. We are the same age and it’s just been nice getting to know her more. We had a good walk and talk on the beach together. We did fall into this deep pit of soft sand. It was like quicksand. I sank up to my thighs and for a moment was scared that It could be really bad if we couldn’t get out and a wave came. Even while thinking this, we both tried to save our IPods as much as ourselves.
One thing I know God has made me passionate about is healing and health. Helping people and teaching people in this way is just something I feel like I’m supposed to do. This has been hard for me here. I’ve felt helpless here when certain situations seem so hopeless. I’ve seen many sick people while visiting the houses in the village. It’s easy to not depend on prayer as much as we should, but when that really is ALL you have, you start thinking about it in a whole new way.
I feel like I’m learning much about prayer. One thing my team has talked about is that we want to be a team of prayer. I’m still not all the way there, but I’m getting better. I used to feel not so good at prayer and I still feel that way sometimes. My mind is ADD first of all and it’s hard for me to even focus on my prayers or anyone else’s for more than five minutes. With public prayer I usually rehearse what I’m going to say before I open my mouth. I rehearse a lot of things. I realize I like to be prepared and it’s crazy sometimes because I’m not in charge anyway. J How can I listen to what God is saying when I’m just saying the prayer I’ve rehearsed or said a hundred times before? I’m learning that prayer is so much more about listening then speaking and have started praying in a whole new way. I’m learning that silence is good. If you don’t feel like you have the words, then stop praying and be silent until you feel you have something else to say. We joke that our team has these awkward silent times during feedback mostly where we all just sit there. The thing is, it’s not really awkward. It’s good to think. It’s good to listen. I’m not saying that God speaks to you in this audible deep voice. I mean maybe He does to some people, but not to me. I have noticed that if you pray, if you ask Him to speak to your soul, He will. It may look different for everyone. For me, I’ve just noticed a feeling or impression that I’m meant to pray something for someone. How many times do we have thoughts that come into our minds and we give ourselves all the credit that they come from us? What if that is what it means for some people when they say, “the voice of God told me this…?” I’m learning that way more is about God and from God then I give Him credit for. Oh, and sometime what the Nicaraguans will do is something I like to call, “chaotic” prayer. Everyone just starts talking at the same time. Well it does take the pressure off of public prayer.
I’m reading this book called, “Crazy Love”. If you haven’t read it, you need to. Trust me. This one part talks about risk takers. It talks about the prayer we pray for example when we travel, “Lord, we pray for safety as we travel. We ask that no one gets hurt on this trip. Please keep everyone safe until we return and brink us back safely. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.” Not a bad prayer at all, but it talks about how we are consumed with safety. It talks about how we have elevated safety and stability to our highest priority to the neglect of whatever God’s best is. As I was preparing for this trip, I heard the question, “Are those places safe?” People would tell me to be careful and I know it’s just because they care about me. I honestly believe the safest place to be is inside God’s plan for my life. So I ask you to be careful if you are not. Shouldn’t the point be whatever would accomplish His purpose in our lives and in the world? The book asks if you would be willing to pray instead, “God, bring me closer to you during this trip, whatever it takes…” That’s what I want my prayer for the WR to be.
