I’ve debated
whether or not to post about this particular event because I must admit: it’s
not one of my finest moments. However, we all know that I’m not perfect, and humiliation aside, this
was just too good not to share.
I
don’t know about you, but where I come from, when someone says they have been
“poofing”, they are most likely up to no good. You can use your imagination, but I’ll offer you a little bit
of background information just to help you understand my perspective.
The other day in 4th grade, the Agriculture teacher was
discussing different types of plants that are produced around the country. The
teacher began to speak of marijuana and asking the students how familiar they
were with it, if their family grew it, and if they personally used it. She said
she knew they did, so they might as well raise their hand and admit it.
During my first few days in the classroom, I quickly learned that grade 5
had pretty much become my responsibility. Teachers never came in during their
allotted time, and I never knew who was supposed to be in my classroom without
a schedule. So, I began to make the best of the time I had with them. I
continued teaching science, math, and eventually English. I would incorporate
review games, devotionals, and even story time to practice their English.
The first couple of days, there were a few boys who always tried to leave
the classroom. They would do anything and everything possible to try to leave,
but they were not going to outsmart me and skip school.
“Teacher, may I go to another classroom to get a pencil?”
“Teacher, may I go outside to throw this paper away?”
my sister?” (I know you don’t have a sister…)
Talk about desperation! They would do anything just for an escape, and I
couldn’t quite understand why. They even tried to sneak out of the classroom if
I turned my head for a second, but obviously that wouldn’t work. My suspicions
began to rise.
Then one day, as I was grading their class work, I noticed one of the
younger boys had disappeared. I walked to the back of the classroom, knelt
down, and sure enough, he was crouching on the floor and under his table. “What
are you doing under there? Are you ok”, I asked. The other boys immediately cut
in and told him to lie.
“Tell her you needed
fresh air!”
Ok, no more sneaky business! I took the young boy outside of the
classroom and he looked terrified. I reassured him that everything would be
fine, and he finally decided to tell me the truth. “They were poofing,” he
said.
clearly understood each other, so I asked, “Poofing as in bodily functions?
Like, farting?” He shook his head no. “Were they doing something they shouldn’t
have been?” With a straight and terrified look on his face, his simply nodded
and whispered, “yes.”
Boys in my class are seriously smoking weed right under my nose! I am
officially the worst teacher EVER! But wait, how would I not notice something
like that? I don’t smell it. I don’t see it. Maybe they do it differently here?
I reassured the young boy that he was not in trouble and sent him back in
the classroom just in time for the bell to ring. The principal wasn’t at school
that day, and I had no idea what the school even thought about such a thing, so
I spoke firmly to the boys and told them we would meet with the principal when
he returned.
A few days later, the principal returned to school and we met in his
office with the older boy from my class. The principal began to question him
about the substance and his involvement, but the boy just stood there confused.
He was 17, and apparently the troublemaker in the school, so the teachers were
accustomed to his misbehavior. He denied everything, so I was sent to get the
younger boy. As he whispered into the principal’s ear what had happened, the
principal broke out in a laughing fit.
“Ms. Howard, here in Swaziland, when someone passes gas, we call it
‘poofing’.”
