I
realized that I hadn’t really shared a whole lot of what occurred in my
life in Country X. Last month was by far one of the best months for me
on the race. God did so much, and changed me and healed me too.
Shortly
after we arrived there is when a major healing process started in my
life. We were sitting there praying together at our ministry site and
then out of nowhere our ministry contact came over to me and put his
arm around me and started praying. Before I knew it he was confessing
everything in my heart, the good and the bad, the secret things I’ve
never told anyone. At first I was thinking “I’ve been found out!” but
it really wasn’t so scary as you would think. There was, however, so
much freedom in getting it out in the open, I see that now.
I
had to face the pain and the lies that had been buried within me and
just let God be God and heal me. I finally stopped fighting Him and let
His healing take place in my life. After that intense encounter, Abba
kept revealing things to me, people I needed to talk to, asking for
forgiveness, forgiving others, renouncing vows I made out of
bitterness, and just really cleaning everything out. Even though it was
difficult, I’m so grateful that it occurred, just because I’m a new
person again. It was totally worth it.
I
feel like I’ve found myself again. And it’s been amazing to see how
much God moving in my life has changed how I interact with my team and
my squadmates. I told my team that I’m now ‘Amanda 2.0′ because to be
perfectly honest for the first 4 months of the race I felt like I had
lost myself. I would act and react to things much different than I used
to and in a lot of ways negatively and I didn’t understand why. God
revealed to me that He had to take me through this purging process to
gain true freedom. Even though I wish there was a better way and easier
way for that to of happened, I’m glad it did. Obviously it had to
happen the way it did.
As
for now, there is a fresh joy and love in me that I hope continues to
grow. God is so good and I know that He will continue to do great
things in and through me.
