I’d like to thank my supporters and readers for their love & patience regarding this long over-due blog post J
I’ve been back in the U.S.A. four months now, still transitioning to life in the good ol’ U.S. of A., which has its challenges and blessing to be sure. Initially I was happy to be back, seeing family & friends but also wanted to keep going. Reverse culture shock. Things were familiar but not comfortable anymore. How did I ever choose a cereal or soap, the options are endless, and hearing the some of the world’s wealthiest people complain, made me want to cry. The first two months back I was overwhelmed most of the time, tired, and over-reacting to American culture inside while trying to put on a smile. I just didn’t know what to do with myself and all the emotions. Re-entry is a struggle. It was and sometimes still is, difficult to try to put the Race, the experiences, and my gratitude into words.
I spent much (not all) of my first 2 months wishing away my feelings, surroundings, and even family & friends at times. (Sorry guys!) I didn’t know what I wanted or where I was supposed to be. It was like starting over again, something I felt too exhausted to do. Believing the lie that I was alone, and God had left me to figure it out by myself now that I was “home”.
I think what made adjustment more difficult was my unwillingness to be present. I had this realization about 3 and a half months into re-entry, and honestly, I was lazy. While on the Race I thought I’d mastered the art of being present, whatever is happening now, I’m a part of it. Not perfect for sure, but better than before I left.
I had every intention of being present for re-entry too. I psyched myself up, it would be lonely, hard, sad, but Jesus would be with me! He walked through the entire Race with me and He wouldn’t leave just because I was back in the U.S.
God showed me so much of Himself over those 11 months. For some reason it was easier, or perhaps I was more willing to see Him in those unfamiliar/ uncomfortable settings outside the United States. It was easy to live day to day, moment to moment on the Race. I’m not a big planner as many friends and family can attest, so beginning the day with an open plan was good fit for me. That made living in the present just that much easier. Add to that the conviction that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, it was a match made in heaven- or for me, a match made in mostly third-world countries. I was in my element, most of the time, and loved it, even the long travel days!
The Race was an opportunity to experience amazing people, places, and situations that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. We had the privilege to see God moving around the world, worship with other cultures, and live in close community, all these things together, changed my heart. I fell in love with the countries we visited, my squad, and so many people I will never see again on this side of eternity. It was a year I’ll never forget and continue to be impacted by. Thank you all for your prayers, encouragement and financial support that made it possible. Please stay tuned for my next blog, Part two- what’s next!
