I truly don't know how to begin to write down the chaos in my overactive brain. Admittedly, the last few weeks have been very busy and just plain crazy. The third week into being in Kenya, my team went through a terrifying robbery.
Our team had really been thriving, We met for worship each morning, we were evangelizing in the community and memorizing scripture as a team. But of course, satan is always out to steal, kill and destroy, as we came to find out first hand on a Thursdayat 2:00 AM.
We were terrorized in the night by eight men breaking in with knives, clubs and crowbars; who had come to steal our valuables. They cut through each of our tents and collected us together; shoving their weapons in our faces and yelling that if we didn't give them what they wanted they would kill us. Along with those threats came string of vulgar comments that aren't worth re-telling, but made my overactive imagination have a horrific field day. It felt like the 'choose-your-own-adventure' books I used to read as a kid, that had many different endings. Only in this story I wasn't going to be the one choosing. They apparently weren't very worried about being identified because their faces were visible. This fact, in itself, made my mind come to the sobering conclusion that we weren't going to live through the night. For over 45 torturous minutes they had complete control. During that time, everything in me was crying out to the Lord for safety and protection for myself and for my friends. I knew the Lord would provide, I just didn't know what exactly that would mean– His ways are very different than mine. The situation was traumatic but the Lord sent His guardian angels and we were not harmed. I don't have any idea what made them leave without harming us, other than the hand of my Savior. He showing them the door and helping them decide to take it.
Looking back I have been consumed with seeing the 'real' me. What a person does in a time like that shows so much about who they actually are. I was so overwhelmed with MY safety and the safety of my friends. Yes, you may say that's normal, BUT what does my safety matter? I have my ticket to spend eternity with my Lord, I know where I'm going when I die. I have EVERYTHING and even though they stole from us, they have NOTHING. Those robbers are anything but safe, and never will be, unless they come to a knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. I have been plagued by how my actions showed only fear and selfishness. Although I did and do believe the Lord is my shield and protection, on the outside I didn't show that belief to those 8 men as they came in the night.
I want to have the peace that passes all understanding, I want to live in the mind-blowing knowledge that the God of the universe is on my side. I want to rest in HIM, and trust that He will lead me by still waters and He WILL be with me in the valley of the shadow of death. I know the Lord will be faithful to give me grace and to walk me into a deeper understanding of Him and greater faith. It isn't magically easy, the days and weeks following that night have been hard. Sleeping has become shallow and I wake up ready to fight, I've been on high alert. It takes time to relax again and trust. The Lord was there. It's that simple. He shut the lion's mouths, like Daniel in the lion's den. Those men were the lions, and He protected us.
Some of you may be thinking that this is crazy and should have left this organization or that my team and I should be kept safe. But we are missionaries, and more than that we are Christians. We didn't sign up for a life of bliss and ease. Everywhere in the Bible points to the fact that as Christians we will have hard times, the world is full of sin and depravity, and that's the very reason we're still on this earth. Not to run and hide and live in a bubble, but to step into the darkness of the world and bring the light of Christ.
