I have to admit, my blogging adventures have reminded me of sitting in the driver’s seat of my little ’88 Plymouth Horizon at age 15 learning how to drive stickshift. I don’t know how long it took me get it right…but I know it wasn’t an easy process.
Figuring out how to apply just the right amount of gas and letting out the clutch at the same time to smoothly put the car in drive is just not part of our innate human ability. I thought I’d never get it. I remember sitting at the bottom of a hill frustrated beyond belief after clunking out the engine 5 or 6 times. I turned and asked my Mom if she had brought any sandwiches because obviously we weren’t going anywhere.
I kind of feel like I’m in that place in life right now. That in between place – like learning to drive all over again. Except, this time it’s not my car, it’s my life. At times, I’ve revved the gas too much and lurched forward only to come to a sharp and grinding halt. Other times I’ve pulled out the clutch without putting enough gas behind me to get through an intersection. Both result in me not getting very far and making whiny quips about sandwiches.
And so my blogging has sat at the bottom of the hill. Just waiting. Waiting to go somewhere.
Until I hear these faint words ringing in my ears,
“You gotta start somewhere.”
I know she’s right, but it seems so hard. So trite to write about the struggle or the mess. So hard to be consistent or engaging. And then I read this comment from an earlier post:
“Dear Amanda,
Please keep writing. I know you are far away, but I enjoy hearing what is going on in your life. No matter how boring or seemingly insignificant it might be to write about. I just like knowing what is happening. Life is crazy busy, yes. But there are moments when things are waiting to begin.”
Moments when things are waiting to begin. Yes. It’s true. This is a moment I’m seizing. I have to start somewhere. Can’t sit at the bottom of the hill all day…no one brought any sandwiches! 🙂
And so…I start again. Turn the key. Feel the tension of the gas and clutch and pray for smooth sailing. We’re going somewhere folks! We’ve got to! We were made to drive!!
