I used to think that living life with Jesus meant it was all secure. God has a plan, so we can live safe, comfortable lives. Cool right?
But life with Jesus isn’t “safe”.
While I was living in Nashville, I went to church one day and heard a sermon that shook me up. The pastor said- your life isn’t a puzzle. God isn’t playing games with you, you don’t need to get every step right or else you’ll mess up the whole plan. God will use you whether you live here or there, whether you choose one career or another, he can use it all for his glory”.
My thoughts were “wait what”.
I was a sophomore in college and waiting for God to lay it all out for me. I wanted to know his will for my life. I wanted to know all those puzzle pieces, and I wanted to see the whole plan. But that’s not how he works. Our lives are full of SO much uncertainty, and I think God likes it that way.
Coming on the race, I was uncertain of so much, and still, now as we go into month 9 of the race, to our last continent and with our last team- I’m still uncertain. I’m still a lot like sophomore in college Alysse. Unsure of exactly how my future will play out. After the race- Where will I live? Where will I have community? Which grad schools will I apply to? But I’m also not like sophomore in college Alysse. Because now I know that life with The Lord is full of uncertainty- and thats not bad or scary. It’s a beautiful thing! I’m not waiting for God to reveal his huge plan for me anymore. I know he’ll use my life – the mistakes and all.
This past month, the idea of heading back home to “real life” started to scare me. Before this month, I was just so excited about getting Chikfila and Chipotle (and now they deliver, what?), and this month I was almost dreading the race ending. I have been so afraid of the unknown.
But life with The Lord is full of that. Uncertainty. And it always will be. I thought when I became a Christian that it would all be clear, that God would lay out every plan before me and I would always know just what to do. But actually God complicates our lives. A lot. When we truly walk with Jesus we are not promised safety and comfortability. We’re promised risks and the unknown, but also- unspeakable joy!
I’m learning that I actually want to live a complicated life. I want it to be messy and full of uncertainty, because anything less than that just sounds boring. Anything less than that means I’m not leaving room for God to show up.
When we embrace the uncertainty and take risks in our lives, we are trusting God. And when we trust him, we leave room for Him to do big things that only He can do!
Lately, our squad mentor and coaches have been challenging our squad to be more “risky”.
(I already bungee jumped in Thailand and rafted the Nile, so I thought- isn’t that enough?)
But this past month God has shown me that if you’re willing to take risks, again and again, He will show up in really sweet ways.
For me, being risky lately has looked like being super honest with a new team and being more vulnerable with people. And in only one month with a new team, awesome friendships were formed from that.
Yesterday, being risky looked like hitchhiking home. And the driver happened to be a missionary! (Cool). And he was on his way to bring groceries to families of those in prison (cooler), and then we found out he even knew our friend Freddy who runs an orphanage (in a totally different region of the country) that we worked with this past month (SO COOL).
When we embrace the uncertainty and take risks, we leave room for God to show up. And boy does he ever.
So with that, in anticipating going home, and the question of- what are my next steps after the race? I’m trying my best to embrace the uncertainty. I will never know all the details of His plan for my life. And I don’t have to! (Yay). I don’t even know what will happen tomorrow!
Luke 12:25-26 reminds us: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”
And Psalm 46:10 says: “Be still and know that I am God.”
Let us be still before the Lord and just know. That He is God, that he has it all under control, and if we take the “wrong step”, he’s still got it. He’s still God and he is still good. So embrace the uncertainty in your life and be open to risk. God will do the rest!
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Thank you everyone for reading and for your encouraging comments, prayers, and love! You people are the best for following this journey!
