We have been in Peru for a week now working with Savage Ministries. We taught English classes every morning and then led Vacation Bible School in the afternoons. We averaged around 50-65 kids for both English classes and VBS each day. At night, we usually had some form of church or prayer service. The next two weeks will be about the same but we won’t be doing VBS and will be preparing classrooms for their school that starts back up in March.
Trujillo is in the desert so it is very hot. Thankfully, some of us were able to set our tents up on the roof of the compound and it is about ten times cooler up there. With the coastal breeze, however, sand and dust has been collecting in my tent. The coolness is more important to me than the dust though.
The view from the roof, right outside my tent.
This week has been very tiring and I have not felt like myself. Almost everyone on the squad has been sick at some point. Six people have been to the hospital, one with appendicitis and the other five with either bacterial or viral infections. The rest of us have been battling dehydration, major upset stomachs, and the spread of germs since all 57 of us are sharing two bathrooms.
Besides being sick and tired, I have felt very distant from the Lord. I shared this with my mom in an email and she found it very interesting that I felt that way. She figured, as most people might, that I’m on this grand journey walking with the Lord and I must be closer to Him than I ever have been. I wish I could say that was true all the time. This week though, I let all the “stuff” get in the way. There was always something else going on or some other way I could help out around the compound that would keep me from spending time with the Lord. Even when I would sit down and open my Bible it was like reading a book over again for the fifth time. I would try to pray and then get frustrated because I felt empty and like I didn’t even have anything to say. I was tired of putting forth effort to seek the Lord and not getting any kind of response. I didn’t realize it then but my attitude and disconnection from the Lord was affecting the way I approached ministry and the way I interacted with my teammates.
My team leader, Kate, loves and encourages me so well!
And then it was Valentine’s Day, a day I rarely enjoy. But this Valentine’s Day turned out to be different. I opened the letter that my mom gave me before I left and immediately I felt the love of the Father. What my mom wrote was very sweet and loving but the verse she included in the letter is what changed my heart.
{I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with loving-kindness.}
Jeremiah 31:3
I read all of Jeremiah 31 and then the short devotional in my Bible that goes with that chapter. It was like I could hear the Lord speaking the words straight into my heart:
“You will never get closer to Me if you rely on your effort and willpower alone…I want to be with you. I want you to know Me… Enjoy the freedom that comes when you quit striving and working and rest in the power of My presence and forgiveness…Know that I am waiting for you.”
I was overwhelmed and filled with His love, but that’s not even the end of it! I was prayed over after the church service on Sunday night and the Pastora (woman pastor) prayed even more words of love from my Heavenly Father into me. I realized how I try to please men more than God and how I can feel ashamed when I fall short. But the great news is that I don’t need to be aiming to please anyone of this world. And even when I fall short (because we all do), He still loves me the same! The Lord started giving me pictures of how He loves me. I saw Him sitting on His throne in heaven, looking down at me with the biggest smile on His face. I was looking down at the ground but He reached down and lifted my eyes to His and said, “I love you, Alyssa.”
I know this Race will continue to be difficult but I also know in the very depths of my heart that He loves me. Nothing else matters. I will rest in His everlasting love for me.
P.S. In case you were wondering why I have not posted any Instagram pictures or Facebook posts, I am fasting from all social media this month. It has been good not to have that distraction, especially with all of the other distractions I have already encountered!
P.S.S. Becky, we are doing laundry by hand this month in a bucket. Pretty sure my clothes are still dirty but they at least smell somewhat clean.
