The end of the race is drawing near. In a very short 18 days, I will be stepping foot in LA and a few days later, I will arrive in Virginia for the first time in 11 months. It is a very bittersweet season. I am sad to end this journey, but excited for the next whatever that is going to look like. Sad to leave my squad who has become not only some of my closest friends, but also my family and yet ready to see all of you. My heart has been set on fire being Jesus to people doesn’t end in America. In fact, I cannot wait to live a radical life filled with Jesus in America, let’s face it…people are in desperate need.
I am excited to catch up with each and every one of you. I am ready to share stories with you and to tell you how Jesus showed up. I want you to feel like you were so a part of my year, because you were. I want to hear stories of how God has been working in your life this year as well, because I know he has. I cannot simply sum up the past year in one sentence, so bare with me as I really begin to fully process and be patient when you ask questions and it takes me a few minutes to think of my responses. But know this, my year is by no means more important than your year. I am not a superhero just because I have been overseas for almost a year. Serving Jesus takes places wherever you are. It just so happened that I have seen him in 11 different countries. Some days have looked like they would have looked at home, but He was still in them and speaking. He has showed up for you and I want to know all about it.
I had a blog in mind, but my teammate Katie Ruther wrote one the other day and it simply conveys most of what I am feeling as we prepare to return. So please keep reading.
Coming Home
The race is not my life, but it is the beginning of a beautiful endeavor and life long relationship with the Lord. I am more excited to go home than I figured I would be, but not for the reasons you think I am. I could at this point, really care less about the comforts, air con, processed food, a bed, clean water, new clothes and everything else you could imagine I would be excited for. I’m happy to be going home because I cannot wait any longer to share The Lord with everyone I love. I want Him to wreck lives the way mine has been completely wrecked. I want my life to be the perfect example of God’s grace and redemption once you enter into a relationship with Him. I want to declare His name in America, in my business, in my daily life.. forever. I want people to know the Jesus I’ve come to know and love. I want to see the radicals living for Jesus in America, the same way my squad and I have done on the field, all around the world. I want to be apart of a new generation of believers who give all the glory to God. I want to share the love, joy, peace, culture, beauty and grace I’ve learned this year. I want to be vulnerable with people at home, friends or strangers. I want to continue to live in the boldness I have developed while away. I want to speak truth and encouragement into people’s lives daily, but most of all I want to continue to see you all with God’s eyes.
As I go home eager to share this new way of life and understanding with everyone, I will never lose sight of where I’ve been this year, what I’ve seen, how I have felt through this journey, and the people I have done it all with. I will miss these people. I will miss this family. I will miss the memories and the ministries, the countries and the adventures. I will miss that awful 16 hour bus ride in Africa, I will miss the gross sardines we ate in the Dominican because of the jokes we still tell to this day about them, I will miss the cuddles, the laughs, the jokes, the tears, the encouragement, the love, the rawness, and everything in between. I will miss the Race.
Like I said, the race isn’t my life, but it has been for the last year. I’ve lived in tents, hostels, hammocks, apartments, on floors, in white-walled rooms, classrooms and churches. I have eaten more rice, pb&j, bread and eggs than you could EVER imagine. I have worked with so many ministries and have loved it all. Yes it has been hard. Yes there were days where every person around me drove me nuts. Yes there have been really hard weeks, days and certain months, but isn’t that life? As cliche as this saying is- though it has been one of the hardest years of my life, it has been the absolute most incredible one. I have lived for the first time. I have been set free for the first time. I have loved for the first time. I have laughed harder and deeper than I did before. I have cried authentic and meaningful tears and I have felt more emotions at one time than I would have ever imagined.
I know I will have to grieve the end of this huge chapter in my life and process everything that has happened, but more than anything this time is a time to celebrate. To celebrate Jesus. To celebrate freedom, life, and love. To rejoice over the redemption He has done in our lives.
I praise Jesus for this year, the adventure, the tears, the challenge, the growth, the people, the travel, and every little moment in between. So America, I hope you’re ready because I’m coming home with a fire for Jesus like you’ve never seen before!
“My heart is the wick, Your love is the flame, and I want to burn for Your name.”
