Currently playing:
Don’t Matter by Akon
Now: I’m sitting
in our room at BJD (“Baan Jai Diaow� or House of One) in Bangkok, Thailand
during morning prayer with the girls of our Deep Waters team. Right now, I’m
listening to my “theme song� playlist. It’s a pretty good and entertaining
musical compilation of my life since high school (only pre-high school song is
“Homeschool Girl� by B.O.B.).
It’s weird to listen to songs that take me back
to different places in life-seasons of doubt, hardship, release, victory. And
then attempt to look back at the path I’ve been on in the last six month of
racing the world and recall the places I’ve traveled through spiritually. (This
is being written as a journal entry right now. Have a feeling it’s gonna turn
into a blog. Still learning vulnerability). Maybe at some point I’ll be able to
look back and just make a few additions to my “theme song� playlist to
milestone what God has been working in my life. Right now, I’m gonna attempt it
in words.
Currently playing:
Stand in the Rain by Superchick
Training Camp:
Walked into training camp after a
couple of weeks of God releasing a wrecking ball on my world. Quit work in the
ER three weeks early because of plans to travel, fundraise, whatever. Most
plans fell through and I was left in a time of “Who am I besides “ER nurse� and
what am I supposed to be doing if I’m not saving lives?� Good place to be.
Kinda crazy to walk into the training camp and the World Race with that
mentality. Yikes.
Wrecked identity. Asked to lead. KNEW I wasn’t gonna be able to
lead a team the way I was used to in the middle of being wrecked. God was ok
with that, because He wasn’t asking me to lead out of the strengths I was used
to, but His. Started a crazy, crazy journey to new places.
Currently
playing: Wings by Alberto and Kimberly Rivera.
(Pause for prayer and walk down the street…continued
many hours later).
Currently
playing: Wavin’ Flag by K’naan
I don’t think I can figure this out country by country or
continent by continent. So in true Beeler bullet point fashion, here are some
of the things God has been working in this blessed, crazy, unbelievable reality
that has been my life for the last six months.
- Authority as a daughter of the King.
- Confidence.
- Receiving from others.
- My selfish tendencies.
- Openness and vulnerability-not bad
things? - Pouring out whatever I am and have.
- Patterns in “normal life� friendships.
- Kingdom.
- Conversational relationship with my
Daddy. - Blessings in my past I didn’t
recognize-“community�, protection, prayer, unconditional love… - Dealing with and feeling life, not
bottling it up. - “Ok� is not enough. I was made for
more.
Currently
Playing: Deeper by Meredith Andrews
Oh brother, I’m staring at the list, trying to think of the many
other things I’m sure I could add and how in the world to explain all of it in
more detail than a few word bullet point. A lot of these truths I’ve been shown
are tied together. Don’t think that makes it any easier. So I’m leaving this as
my bullet point testimony. Let me know which bullet point the next journal
entry/blog should expound on.
Currently
playing: Not admitting this one. (Jill, Amber, Jenna-think you’re the only ones
who would get it without a long explanation. Oh nursing school.)
