Today was a rough day.
I have been at Asha Nepal for almost three weeks and my teammate Cassie and I have been homeschooling two precious girls and helping the children with homework when they get home from school.
I knew God had me at Asha Nepal this month for the very purpose of using the passion and gift I have for teaching to serve while on the World Race.
But it has not been sunshine and roses like I expected it to be.
The children know us now. We are no longer the cool new Americans that came to love on them. We have become apart of the family. While this is a beautiful transition, it has also been a messy one. When you become family, the “honeymoon phase” is over and reality sets in.
And reality is, these children have gone through things that this 22 year old mind could never ever imagine. They have seen things I will never have to see and with that comes deep scars that effect every part of who they are.
Over this past week, homework time has been absolutely miserable. Some of the girls lie about if they homework or not. Some run away when I bring up homework. Some continually goof around and it’s like pulling teeth to make them do one math problem.
If only I could describe how hard it is for me. It’s awful. I want this to be a sweet time of hugs and laughter and joy and instead I am making two 7 year olds write “I will tell the truth” 20 times before they can go play.
God is showing me so much about Himself through this time though.
My flesh so desperately wants to be a people pleaser (yes, even with 7 year olds) and make them happy by not making them do their homework and letting them lie about not having it. But God has called me to greater than that.
He has called me to be comfortable with being rejected.
I have live my entire life avoiding rejection. It has always been a huge motivating factor in my life. I never tried for a solo or apply for an organization if I was not sure I would get it. I will not pursue friendships of people I did not click with instantly. I don’t say what’s on my mind if I know it won’t be taken well.
Oppositely, I will do everything in my power to be accepted. I will say the right thing, do the right thing, be at the right place at the right time so that I will be accepted.
Galatians 1:10 “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ”
This verse has always hit a little to close to home. Being a people pleaser and a servant of Christ do not go hand and hand. Making people like me and accept me and sharing Jesus with them is NOT the same thing.
As I am praying through my frustration each day when it’s homework time, I know that by disciplining and calling these children to better than what they’re used to, I’m sharing Jesus with them. He doesn’t have me here to be their favorite World Racer ever. I am not here for them like me, even. I am here to love them.
But right now, they don’t understand that. They don’t see that I am loving them by wanting better for them than they want for themselves.
Today, God reminded me as I watched pouty faces that had to write lines because of their disobedience, that He was rejected too.
Isaiah 53:3 “He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.”
Jesus wasn’t Mr. Popular. He would not have been the Prom King at His high school. And He never came to be liked and approved by everyone He met. He came to bring them life and truth. And in this depraved world, both of those things are going to be faced with opposition.
God also reminded me that He took all the rejection so that I can be eternally accepted. All the acceptance I will ever need is in Him. When I choose to search for acceptance from other people (even 7 year old Nepali girls), I am turning away from the perfect acceptance I was given because of the rejection of Jesus Christ.
Isaiah 53:5 But He was pierced for our transgressions; He was crushed for our iniquities; upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with His wounds we are healed”
I am so thankful for this reminder, and I pray that it impacts you as well. Loving people the way Jesus does isn’t easy. He gave His very life to display His love. May we continue to love even when it hurts. May we only walk in the acceptance of the Gospel and nothing this earth offers us.
THANK YOU to all who have given to allow me to be apart of the World Race! I am seriously so in awe of the miracle that has happened with finances for the Race! I officially have less that $5,000 to raise until I am fully funded! PRAISE THE LORD! My next deadline is October 1st (a little over a month) and I need less than $500 to meet it! Please pray about being apart of what God is doing in the nations! Just click the link on the left side of my blog that says Support Me! to quickly and easily donate online! Thank you so much!
