Hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what He sees? (Romans 8.24)
As I entered the orphanage gates, the feeling of death rushed over my body. How can one place be filled with so much darkness? Weeds infest most of the grounds; feces cover the floors and walls; mattresses and clothes are so soiled it seems laundry has never been done; the bathrooms are so unsanitary no human being should be subject to such conditions; and the smell of urine is so strong I nearly became sick to my stomach.
Then I noticed the children: they were wearing the soiled clothes; their poor feet were dirty, bruised, and infested with bug bites; lice entangled their hair; somber faces and hopeless eyes were written all over these children. How have they become so neglected and unloved?
As my teammates and I started to put the pieces together, it became very obvious that the outer appearance of the orphanage is a manifestation of what is taking place in the spiritual realm. Something very dark resides on that piece of land and it felt like I had stepped on ‘satan’s territory’. I’ve never felt anything so dark and overwhelming in my life, and it almost seemed to be like I was in a Hollywood horror film.
As I entered the girls quarters, chills quivered all throughout my body. I will admit that I was initially filled with a sense of hopelessness.The issues seemed too large to even touch and I was filled with fear of what was lingering around me.
But those are all lies from the pit of hell!
satan wants us to believe that there is nothing we can do to save these children. He wants us to remain hopeless and feel defeated in an attempt to stop us from what God wants accomplished. After I took my thoughts captive, I fought and fought hard. I rallied with my teammates and we were ready for the battle we knew God has been equipping us for.
Because the truth is God sent us on assignment to expose the darkness that is taking place there. I don’t think it is an accident that this has been uncovered. He has been waiting for children of this generation to rise up and expose the darkness of this earth! As God’s warriors, we are in a battle to take back his territory! So, we went in as warriors and not only cleaned what we saw on the external, but we did some spiritual cleaning as well.
We prayed over Gladys’ hand to grow out; we prayed for Elsa, the most precious 22 year old who has down syndrome, who says she is scared and sees bad things; we prayed for the girls who are being abused by the boys who live there; we prayed for Julio, a boy who is “mentally retarded” and has his hands tied to a wheelchair as the wheelchair is tied to a post by an electrical chord, as he sits in the same spot, all day, in his soiled pants
.
Though we didn’t see manifestations of the things we prayed, I have to believe that this changed the spiritual climate. I have to believe that when light comes in, it exposes the darkness. I have to believe that this is only the beginning. I have to believe the seeds that have been planted will bear fruit and God’s justice and righteousness will bring deliverance. Even if I never see it with my own eyes.
I am reminded of so many people who lived by faith, yet never saw the full promises of God fulfilled. Noah’s wave looked like it had been defeated when his family were the only ones that were saved, but through it came a nation. The tide had won even though Noah never lived to see it. He saw Glory for a moment, but he didn’t see how it would set history in motion.
I myself have seen Glory touch down on lives we’ve ministered to, and now I have to believe history has been set in motion.
I think about when I went to the trash dump last week where families live and work. Jesus compared Hell to Gehenna, which was a trash dump outside of Jerusalem, and it did feel like the pit of destruction. It was so hot; there were so many flies that the buzzing sounded like I was standing next to speakers at a concert; feces and sewage and garbage fill the land as little children walk barefoot in it; the pit consists of vultures swarming and smoke resounding around the area.
As I was reflecting with my teammate, Bethany, as we were leaving, we felt very discouraged and hopeless. But then, out of nowhere, a gushing wind brushed through. It was as if God was telling us ‘I’m still here.’
And this is the hope that I cling to.
Because the truth is, God is not a microwave. He is not a pop it in and it’s done in 3 minutes kind of God. He takes His time. He is slow and meticulous. I cannot get discouraged or have unbelief in the times that I don’t see or feel him, or when it seems like what I’m doing is futile. That is a lie. It is in these times that I have to remember He works all things out for good. Period.