Written January 4, 2012
We had a thunderstorm today. Not entirely uncommon in the rainy season here in South Africa. I could hear the rumbling thunder as it steadily moved closer to our house. I was laying on my bed and was almost in the throws of a glorious afternoon nap when I heard Him.
Allison?
Yes?
Come outside. I have something to say to you.
I wrestled with myself for about two minutes and finally emerged from underneath my sleeping bag. I walked to the front of Beam house and sat on the stone steps just listening to the thunder.
Thunder has always intrigued me because the bible says that God’s voice is louder than the thunder and I always wondered what that would sound like.
I began to talk to God about my growing fear of being sent home in a couple days. It had finally occured to me for the first time that it was a very real possibility. And I was scared. It was not as if I believed that my God wasn’t powerful enough to come through for me, I just figured that He is big enough for me to be real with Him. So I was.
The thunder continued to rumble around me, getting closer and closer to my spot on the steps. There was a particularily loud clap of thunder and at the very same moment, I heard Him say
“It’s going to be okay.”
And I said okay.
Seconds later, I had to go inside as the heavens opened up and the rain pounded down in a force I’ve never seen before.
I don’t know if I’m going home from the race. I don’t know if I am going to be able to stay. But I know that it’s going to be okay. Even though the thought of going home scares the poop out of me right now, I know that it’s gonna be okay. And I guess that’s all that matters.
Even when I’m scared, even when it hurts, even when I don’t understand. I’ll trust.
