I sat on the brown rocks staring out at the hazy horizon that hung lazily over the rolling waves. The sun was beating down on my skin making it a pink color, which is saying something, seeing as I had a wicked tan going. The water lapped against my toes, playfully asking me to step in deeper. I looked to the right as a herd of cows wandered by, past the little piglets that were chasing each other and rolling in the sand. Hah. Only in Africa, I thought. I breathed in the thick, humid air deeply and sighed.
“Oh Lord. I’m not ready. Don’t make me leave this place. I’m not ready to go back to what I left.”
Oh my love, do not worry. This is the life I have made you for.
“I don’t think so. I’m too… young to be a missionary.”
Trust me, Love. You are ready.
“Mkay, God. Whatever you say.”
I turned away from the waves, just in time to see a man sauntering over to me. He asked me why I was all alone. He told me that I was beautiful and that he would like to marry me (you know, the usual). I politely declined and he stood up to leave. Before turning away, he said “You should trust Him, you know. God always knows what He is doing”
I laughed all the way back to the volunteer house, half from that and half from seeing a goat stuck in a tree (T.I.A folks). I kept askng myself how he knew what was going through my head. At that time, I didn’t realize the significance of those words.
Two days later, I stepped onto a plane that was bound for Amsterdam, and from there back to Canada. My heart broke immensely as I gazed out of my airplane window over the land that so easily taken over every piece of my heart. I knew I would never be complete until I once again set foot on Ghanaian soil.
About a week after arriving back home, and attempting to tackle re-entry, I was curled up in my warm covers trying to protect myself against the harsh winter that raged all around my house.
Good morning, Love. Why do you doubt Me?
“I don’t know what You are talking about God. I’m not doubting You, I just woke up.”
Trust Me. Read Isaiah 42:6-7
“But I’m tiiiirrreedddd”
However, my curiosity got the best of me and I needed to know what it was that God was trying to say. What did He mean when He asked me why I was doubting Him? I decided I would take some time to figure out what it was that I was doubting.
What have I made you for?
“I don’t know God, You tell me”
Read it, Love.
So I peeled back the covers and opened my bible to Isaiah. This is what I found.
I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep and you make you to be a covenant for the peoples and a light to the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.
“Uhh… okay God. A missionary? Really? Can I do that?”
Yes darling, through me You can do all things.
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Since that day, I waited about two years before being allowed on another missions trip. He took that time to woo me, to bring me further into His love and to teach me all that I would need to know for the path He set me on. He is good isn’t He? As they say in Africa, He is TOO good.
