I am packing my suitcase for a few weeks in GA and then on to Ireland. By the middle of August we will have trained and launched 140+ new racers out into the World. It brings me so much life to hang out with Racers on this side of the adventure. They have absolutely NO idea what they are getting themselves into and it is awesome!
It reminds me of the months leading up to my first race. The anguish over what to pack or not pack, the selling of the condo, the horse, the truck…..I will never forget the last time I turned the key in the lock of my condo and walked away. I was completely alone and everything I owned was crammed into the back of a Honda. I remember wanting to appear calm, cool, and collected, but instead I was sweating and hysterical crying. Not my best day! I remember thinking “what in the heck am I thinking? why did I think this was such a good idea???” There were a few other people wondering that too!
I remember believing that i was SACRIFICING my life for a year. I would give God a year and then He would give me everything I had been wanting. My idea of sacrifice was a begrudging attitude and a limited time period. My sacrifice did not come from an attitude of worship or gratitude. I thought I would make God happy by giving him this little year and then I could be back on my way again–with my plans.
Every time I am at training camp I look around the room and wonder how many sitting there are just like I was. How many are hoping to “put in their time” and then return to their lives? And I smile.
There are not words to express the gratitude I have for this journey. I can’t explain how much the Lord has taught me and my bad attitude about sacrifice. I can’t explain how that one “little year” was the beginning of everything.
And as I look down the road and see a whole lot MORE of sacrifice, I am beginning to realize I really had no idea what sacrifice looked like. And honestly, I still really don’t. Yet, the Lord continues to take me on a journey. He shows me only the amount I can handle, let’s me work through it, and then asks for a little more. He is so persistent, yet so gentle.
Julie wrote me this week about her views on sacrifice and they express perfectly what I am learning:
The theme seems to be that to obey and to love is better than
sacrifice. i think because sacrifice carries a dreadful connotation –
destruction of something, something lost or given up, death, something
bloody and messy. i know the Lord asks us to give things up, but i like
the idea that it comes out of relationship with Him and it is our
spiritual act of worship. He is so amazing that He didn’t create things
in such a way where we follow strict rules or have to have pain and
death all the time to please Him. He so much prefers a love offering,
an offering birthed in the heart, something that comes from the love
affair rather than a ritual of burnt offerings. Obedience comes from
knowing His voice, sacrifice comes from a formula. The presence of a
relationship transforms sacrifice into obedience that is rooted in
love. At least that’s how it works in my head.
The other side is that sometimes obedience feels like sacrifice. and in
reality it often is – things are rarely worth more than they cost you.
it’s a fine line b/w the two. but the beauty is that our Dad always has
our absolute best in mind. So even when it’s hard or when it hurts or
when we don’t understand, we can rest in the simple truth, that without
doubt, it is for our good. His love is so pure, it couldn’t be any
other way.
sacrifice. i think because sacrifice carries a dreadful connotation –
destruction of something, something lost or given up, death, something
bloody and messy. i know the Lord asks us to give things up, but i like
the idea that it comes out of relationship with Him and it is our
spiritual act of worship. He is so amazing that He didn’t create things
in such a way where we follow strict rules or have to have pain and
death all the time to please Him. He so much prefers a love offering,
an offering birthed in the heart, something that comes from the love
affair rather than a ritual of burnt offerings. Obedience comes from
knowing His voice, sacrifice comes from a formula. The presence of a
relationship transforms sacrifice into obedience that is rooted in
love. At least that’s how it works in my head.
The other side is that sometimes obedience feels like sacrifice. and in
reality it often is – things are rarely worth more than they cost you.
it’s a fine line b/w the two. but the beauty is that our Dad always has
our absolute best in mind. So even when it’s hard or when it hurts or
when we don’t understand, we can rest in the simple truth, that without
doubt, it is for our good. His love is so pure, it couldn’t be any
other way.
Your prayers are so appreciated in the coming weeks. Three weeks of non-stop travel and training! Pray that we would have wisdom and discernment and JESUS would always be glorified.
This is ALWAYS welcome too!
