No Question Marks, Please.

Since returning from the race, my life has been a fish bowl full of question marks: The UNKNOWN.  The one thing that I asked God over and over again for before and while on the race is “No Question marks, please!” I feared returning home with no calling.  No purpose, no job, no future planned.  Only question marks.

God is funny…

Needless to say, that is what I came home to.. A fish bowl of question marks. I still had no idea what my "calling" was, no desire to immediately go back overseas, and really with no direction from God but to WAIT and be patient.

Instead of being patient and waiting on HIM, I decided to take things into my own hands. Immediately I began to take control. While in Atlanta in my last month,  I frantically posted on facebook about the need for a job, emailed, craigslisted, but one thing was missing: PEACE.  In my strain  to “figure things out for myself,”  I did not find answers, but instead, found myself full of stress, anxiety and this sinking feeling of urgency.  THEN, in the midst of a breakdown, Jesus reminded me, “I am in control.  I’ve got you.  Give it to me and you will find peace. ”  

I laid in bed that night, sobbed, and handed MY future, MY plans, MY goals, MY question marks over to the Father… Then, there, in the stillness, I found peace… His presence overcame me and all I could feel was gratitude and peace.

Ever since then, my life still being a fish bowl of question marks, I have been able to walk with a peace about HIS plans for my life.  Everyday has been an adventure… BUT HE HAS PROVIDED.  

This summer, God has allowed me to lead 5 short term missions trips to various cities in the US with Adventures in Missions  In midst of that time, He has provided me with a friend’s apartment to crash at, food to eat, money to buy gas, and people to learn from and to be challenged by.  

He has taught me so much about who He really is, His authority, His grace, and His gifts.  I have been learning how to FULLY trust in the Lord for EVERYTHING.  I have learned that I truly cannot do anything by myself.  It is by Him and His grace alone.  period.  

This fall, I am entering into a new season (literally).  I am living in Sylvania, OH, working (yes, He has provided me with TWO jobs), and resting in the Lord about the future.  Recently, as a friend was praying for me, she saw me standing on a cliff, with nothing in front of me… BUT as soon as I took a step out, God built part of a bridge, and with every step I took the Lord PROVIDED the next part of the bridge…”  

That is my life currently.  Taking risks, stepping out in faith KNOWING that He will provide.  He has so far, and will continue to day to day, moment by moment.  Man, Jesus, you are sooo good!!!