I’m a very independent person. I have no problem doing things by myself, and often times enjoy it more than if a person were with me. I’m definitely one of those weird people who goes to see movies or out to lunch by themselves. I like being able to make my own decisions, to accomplish things by myself, to only need my self, and I would say it’s to a point of being a fault.
Enter support raising.
Ha. Talk about a reality check. If there’s one thing that teaches you dependence, it’s support raising. I was reading over my journal, and I had written “I don’t want to be dependent on anyone. It’s so annoying, because I know that I have to be. This is the worst way possible to teach me dependence, and I actually hate it. Just so you know.” I hate it so much, that I don’t actually like talking to people about it. Every time someone asks me, “So, how’s support going?” I actually want to punch them. But they’re totally fair in asking how support is going. So please, if you want to know, feel free to ask. It’s just that every time you do, it makes me face the reality that I can’t do this on my own, and it makes me face that giant mountain that is raising $10,000 more. So thanks for making me live my worst nightmare. But actually, thank you. Because you are helping me learn dependence. Which is a lesson I clearly need to learn.
But the even more annoying part is, as much as I hate it, I think about it SO MUCH. 9 times out of 10 if you were to ask me what I was thinking about, it would be support. Which is not healthy. At all. I’m constantly trying to come up with ways to connive people into donating money to me. Believe me, you don’t even want to know what I’ve come up with in my head as fundraisers. It’s not pretty. But you know what? People are supporting me. I’m further along that many of my squadmates, and for that I should be thankful. As giant as this mountain seems, it’s slowly become smaller and smaller.
Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for teaching me dependence. Thank you for making me better. And thank you for asking me how support raising is going.
