Terrified of the Flava Flame Bus

Four days after I was mugged (read previous blog: I got mugged!), my team and I traveled to Arushu, Tanzania. There were three teams traveling together and we were instructed to go to the bus station to collect our tickets. From the moment a few of us left the hostel and started walking, I felt nervous. I held tightly to my purse and close to the guys. As we got to the station, a bunch of men approached the group of us trying to help/get money out of us. It was crowded as people walked around doing their day to day business, we had all the normal stares we have had for the past 9 months. I was constantly and anxiously looking around to make sure we were okay and as I saw a man get beaten and arrested, my anxiety only grew. After lots of conversation and going to the ATM to get money to buy SIM cards to make phone calls, we finally got our tickets. It was getting late and we headed back to the hostel to make it back before dusk. Our bus didn't leave for about 36 hours, so we had two nights to spend there. The longer I sat around the hostel, the more terrified I became. I had plenty of time to think up of every possible situation that could go wrong the next day. You name, I thought it. Trust me, you wouldn't want an inside look at those thoughts…

I don't typically think of myself as someone who has much fear. My list of fears is usually just snakes, spiders, and cockroaches… all of which I have the Race has helped me get over, thank you Nepal. But that day I was definitely living in fear. I literally have never been more scared in my life, not even when I was being mugged. As I was having some quiet time in the morning these are the verses the Lord led me to:

This described the situation exactly. Here the darkness was definitely evident. That day I walked around in a daze trying to hide the fear that stirred the more my mind wandered. The next morning at 5:00 am we headed to the bus station. As the bus pulled out, the fear died completely. I turned on my music and stared out the window with the wind blowing in my face (African air conditioner). Time for me and the Lord.

“Why are you drowning yourself in fear? Why are you allowing it to control your mind? Don't you remember all the times you told me 'Send me to the really hard places, to all the dark places that need your light. Let me take your light there.' Alison, this is that dark place. You have recognized the darkness, but instead of standing tall, you are hiding in fear. Arise, shine, I am the Light in you, and you will shine to the nations. Do not fear, just sit in my presence so my brightness can reflect off of you and into the darkness.”

The rest of the month that is what I learned to walk in: standing tall and slapping fear in the face. This brought a whole new meaning of putting my faith and trust in the Lord and His goodness. No matter the circumstance, no matter what happens to me physically here in this world, no matter the darkness that comes near me…it can not overcome me. I am the Lord's. That can never change and never will. And that is all that matters. He has sent me as an ambassador for those who do not know Him in their hearts. And that is what I will do, no matter the circumstance, no matter what happens, no matter what darkness taunts me. The following verse I put on the t-shirts I sold fundraising for the Race. I never realized its significance it held until now:

The “race” is not just the World Race, the “race” is my life. The “race” is your life. Ask our Father how He want's you to run your race for Him.