My hardest/best week of my race so far…

In transition from Nepal to Thailand, we had our first debrief. Debrief is just a few days for our whole squad of 54 to hang out, relax, worship, and reflect on the past two months.

Ending in Nepal and beginning in Thailand, my prayer was that God would teach me to see my team and others through the eyes of Christ.

During our time of sitting down together to reflect over our past two months we took a look at where we are at individually and where we are as a team. I was the first to talk… I broke down in tears. I can’t explain why much more than this:

God was stripping me of me and clothing me in more of Himself. He took this time to strip off my flesh to my inner most being. Something to know about me: I am the epitome of “I am my hardest critic.” I have always been harder on myself than anyone else. And if you were to listen to my thoughts, a lot of them start with, “you need to…” and some of them could be great things I could work on in my life, like spending more time in the Word. God showed me that I see so many things I do as failures, but that He sees them as successes. “And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28.I realized I don’t even see myself through the eyes of Christ. And if I can’t even see myself through the eyes of Christ, then how can I see others through the eyes of Christ? God told me He wants me to be praying:

Let me explain…This week has been the hardest week, both spiritually and mentally, of the race so far. Here is a look inside my heart (aka my journal):

This is what has been going on in my head and my heart over the past week. If it doesn’t make much sense, feel free to ask me questions or please be encouraged to press into the same thing. God’s love is as big as it can get and is forever unchanging;