Part of being on the race is learning to live in community, learning to live as the body of Christ. It’s about sharpening each other and striving to see each other as Christ sees us. One way we do this is through something we call feedback. This is a time where we meet each night to call each other into greatness, even if that means pointing things out to each other that we recognize as not being of the Lord. We desire the decrease of ourselves and our flesh and an increase of Christ and the Spirit in our lives. We help weed out each other’s gardens so that there may be even more fruit. This process is not always fun and it’s not always easy, but it brings us closer to the Lord and strengthens us as the body of Christ.
Three days into Nepal I got some really tough feedback, not just from one person on my team, but my entire team. As team leader, part of my job is being the communicator between our contact for the month and our team. The feedback was about the way that I was communicating the information about what the month was going to look like. To sum up an hour long feedback: I was communicating more as a dictator than in love, I didn’t explain my thought process or reasoning to anything, it came across as though I was shutting down their voice and doing things the way I wanted to. Even though that was not my intent, that’s the way it came across, I was not being the loving sister the Lord designed me to be. I’ve realize that I have such a task oriented mindset that I often forget to show love. That night I prayed:
One thing that is obvious is that I am not conveying things and communicating in love. My heart is hardened. God, soften my heart please, melt my heart. Teach me to love, because I don’t know how.
Three days later the Lord gave a word to someone for me:
On our last stretch home we got to ride in a van and not a bus, yet we were all complaining about just wanting to be home and the fact that the van we hired was stopping continuously. Our squad leader noticed our attitudes and gave us group feedback the next morning.
Again James 3 came into the picture: Your words hold a lot of power over people. With the same tongues we curse others and worship the Lord. What are your words and your attitudes saying to others about the way Christ sees them? We were challenged to choose to give honor or dishonor in every situation, to live out of the flesh or out of the Spirit. We were challenged to embrace and enjoy every moment on the race, whether it is easy or difficult, because you can’t get those moments back and they won’t come around again (you can’t get any moments back in your life, regardless of whether or not you are on the race – so even if you are sitting at home in America, don’t miss opportunities God places in your life). Don’t miss opportunities to minister to or show the love of Christ to others. Am I speaking/acting out of my flesh or out of love? It is either one way or the other: flesh or Christ love. I was challenged to:
The following is a prayer I prayed. If you want to know how you can pray for me, this would be a great way to start:
God teach me to serve in love. Show me how to love on your behalf. Teach me to love my neighbor as myself (seriously)! God give me more of your love in my heart; I want my character to be a reflection of your love. I desire to be closer to you in that and to be a vessel of your love. Speak to me. Open my ears to hear. Soften my heart. Destroy my agenda and judgmental mindset. Burst through me with your joy. Make me humble. Give me patience. Break me; break my heart for what breaks yours. Be glorified in me. Bring me closer to you. I want to be so so so so filled with the presence of God. Teach me to lead by following you. Teach me what it means and what it looks like to bring every detail of my life to you. Abba Father, I want so bad to be closer to you.
