I need your help! (sorry for the weird random symbols everywhere…I am in Guatemala…what can I do?)
More then anything I need your prayers right now-ask the Lord how to pray for me because he knows better then I do.
I have $11,401.25 in my account right now and I need $14,300 by the end of June. That means that I have one month to come up with $2,898.75. I know, it seems like a lot but when you put it into perspective…its nothing for the Lord. I mean its a lot for me and right now it seems like a million bucks.
I feel stressed beyond belief and exhuasted. I have never in my life felt so emotionally and physically drained. Today has been one of those days when I say to myself, ¨What the heck are you doing Alison? Is this really worth it? Is it worth selling everything…and dropping out of school? And throwing up…all around the world?¨ I know you are all dying to know…Is it worth it?
I can honestly say that it is worth it. As I am sitting here with my stomache in knots from stress and hott tears on my check from being so overwhelmed…I can still say that its worth it. Ya know. It is. I am not going to lie to you and say that its always easy because its not. Today we prayed healing over a mans leg and it didn´t happen, he didn´t get healed. It wasn´t because I didn´t have faith. It wasn´t because I didn´t believe that he would be healed because I did. And all I could do was cry. I don´t understand it. I don´t understand how the Lord works. I don´t understand why that man wasn´t healed. I wanted him to be healed more than I have wanted anything in a long time. I do know that the Lord works in mysterious ways and I do know that I am to ¨lean not on my own understanding.¨ Even as I am typing this I still don´t understand why that man wasn´t healed, I don´t understand a lot of things but I know that the Lord´s timing is better than mine and he is Lord and I am not. End. of. sentence. That´s all I need to know. He is Lord and I am not. I don´t see everything that he orchestrates behind the scenes. I am not called to understanding, I am called to faith. And thats what I am going to do…I am going to have faith that God will provide my needs and the needs of others and as of now I am going to squeeze in a good cry and a good nap and then I am going to wake up and keep praising God.
¨For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.¨
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
