Have you ever been in a mental whirlwind? I believe I have been living in one. It is a world where all your thoughts go round and round and as much as you would rather compartmentalize every thought, they are going so fast that there is no time to put them into categories.
So in attempting to find rest for my soul and letting Big Papa handle the work, I finally categorized them.
Finances: This has been at the forefront of my mind the entire month in Viet Nam because I have a deadline approaching and I am still $2000 to reach that goal. I feel powerless against it because I cannot go find a job or work for this. I will have to depend on the provision of My Father and not my efforts. I have seen Him work out this a couple of times before just in getting to this point on the race, so I should be ok with just knowing that He has already orchestrated the delivery of these funds.
Philippians 4:19 says "My G-d shall supply all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Chr1st J3sus" I know it all will all be provided, but now I have to sit on this promise in order to receive rest.
Spiritual Development:As I mentioned in my previous blog, there is a giant wall that has prevented me from forming a healthy relationship with my team and others. Big Papa has kindly taught me that in order for this wall to crumble it comes down to the receiving of His spirit of ADOPTION. I have been adopted as a co-heir with Chr1st J3sus and everything He has rights to, I do too.
In Romans 8:15 "The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry 'Abba Father'". By receiving this truth as my reality, I will no longer be enslaved behind this wall, but I will receive the freedom that allows me to call my Daddy.
M1n1stry: I have realized I am ok with teaching others and sharing about me, but it becomes hard when they are trying to develop a relationship other than the one I have decided to let them have. I am ok to keep my students at arms length and teach them and help them, but the challenge in this area is developing a relationship with them that will outlast my 3 weeks of class. I have to learn to receive the things that they want to teach me.
As you can see there is a common thread that ties them all together: RECEIVING. I have grown up in a culture that has trained me that in order to receive something there is a price to pay, and so receiving has not been a skill that I have mastered yet. Somewhere in the past I made a decision that I would weigh the cost of everything people would want to give me because I did not want to bear the cost of whatever it was that their "free" gift would eventually cost me. BUT in order to rest, I have to receive the rest and believe that the "free" gifts that are being extended are, indeed, free. So now I have to extend my arms and learn to yield control over the cost to the Giver and freely receive that which was promised.
