So much happening here in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Between ministry, getting accustomed to a new culture and a new language, there is that God processing me factor. I am learning so much about myself and about community. I am learning that some of my belief systems are not of God and that there are things that have to change.
One of my belief systems is founded in FEAR. I have been afraid of just about everything. I have a fear of being hurt, a fear of heights a fear of falling when no one is there to catch me. I apparently had a fear of community and of being vulnerable with others as well as a fear that when I did become vulnerable, that I would be mistreated or that the vulnerable places would be used against me. God has been so gracious and has placed his thumb on that this month. He has shown me how paralyzed I have become due to fear. He showed me what a great observer of other's lives I have become, but have refused to really live my own life.
Gently, He reminded me of the scripture in Deuteronomy 30:19-20
19 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life,and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
He has promised me that if I choose to LIVE that there are promises attached to that choice. Me and my children will live and I will love the Lord, my God, and I will listen to His voice and I will be able to hold fast to Him because I find my LIFE in HIM.
So after 6 months of considering this choice, but 3 weeks of perpetual need for this reminder, I have chosen to get a physical reminder. Welcome my new tattoo!
I know this may be controversial to some people, but after much prayer and consideration… I felt that this was the way for me to go.
I have chosen to live!
The placement of the tattoo is very significant. There is a reason to why I placed it on my right ring finger so I can see it. The Lord reminded me that when a covenant is made, like in a marriage, the ring finger is where you would put that symbol of the covenant. This tattoo represents a covenant that I have made with God that I will choose to live my life every day to honor the price that HE already paid for it.
