Bangkok, Thailand. The Redlight District. Where prostitutes make a living, forced to this job by poverty.
(a shot inside the gates)
Myself and 4 other woman from my squad made our way through the dark and somewhat crowded streets of Bangkok to a place called Nana. I didn’t really know what to expect or what was going to happen but it was obvious when we arrived to our destination. Cheap neon lights revealed the gates of a huge 3 story building where hundreds of woman, and transvestites make a living selling there bodies to the masses of business men and tourists who fly through here andto the locals who live nearby.
The smell of alcohol, perfume, and smoke are rank in the air. We entered the gates after praying. We went early around 8pm, so we had time before the night got busy and dangerous. Many Thai prostitutes dressed in next to nothing, high heels that cut into their feet, and so much make-up applied that the woman or man underneath is no longer visible. They line the balconies and hallways at the doorways pawing desperately at each potential client who passes by. As myself and the 4 other missionaries pass through, it is quite obvious we are not here for what everyone else comes for. Everyone stares at us, knowing we dont belong there with our Nalegene water bottles and flip flops. Especially Tara and I tower above all the tiny people. My chest felt so heavy. My entire body recognized that there is such an extreme darkness in the place I felt as if there was no air to breathe. Under my breathe, I prayed “Let them see you Jesus, let them all see you Jesus.”
My head is spinning as I try to type out this experience. I can’t even process how incredibly messed up this place was.
We decided to split up into 2 groups. Tara Stephenson and I sat at two barstools praying that we would be guided to who we needed to talk to. We ended up talking with 2 “Lady-boys.” (These were once men, who now dress, act and live out as women.) The first person named “Sophia” did not speak much English but told us if we wanted to spend more time with her we would have to “buy her time.” We asked him if we could pray. As I began praying for this person….I touched his hand and looked into his eyes. His hand felt completley cold, dead, and unresponsive to my touch. I felt no life. His blue colored contacts and mask of make up blocked a lot of pain. A lot of shame. A lot of confusion. The second persons name was Bu. He could speak a lot more English. He was very surfacey and acted as an immature teenage girl. Although he knew we were there to just talk and be a friend he kept trying to flirt with us. After asking where his family lives, and how long he had worked here, I told him something I felt led to say. I told Bu, ” I believe that God created everyone in this world. So that means we are family. I am your sister. God loves you and I love you.” The glazed over eyes softened for a moment…a very breif moment, I think he believed me, or atleast wanted to believe me, but just for that second. I hugged this man-woman, person. I hugged Bu. I hugged someone who fights for survival by doing something everyone knows is wrong but they do it anyway, pretending it is okay because they are convinced it is the only way.
But guess what?
God’s GRACE COVERS ALL.
I felt so stupid last night. I felt ridiculous. What does white girl from America know about their pain and loss? What do I know about their lives? I can’t relate to them in any way at all. God is faithful and created each person in that awful disturbing place to be loved, just as He created me to be loved. He created them for greatness too. The reality is, most of them may never make it out of that place. God is Sovereign, I have to trust that. We all do.
We are just passing through Thailand, but we will be back in Novemeber to work here for a whole month. I know this experience was preparation for our ministry to come.
