I launch out into the world on January 9th, less than a week away.
Let’s just call it like it is -I’ve been in ‘freak out’ mode for the past three weeks. And I’ve tried to control everything down to the last detail. Ask me how that’s working out for me? …. It’s not.
I’m not in control, God IS.
I’m not ready for this trip, God IS.
I’m not equipped for this missions adventure, God IS.
I’m not a superhero, God IS.
I don’t have it all together, God DOES.
…. See the pattern begin to emerge?
Everything that I’m not, GOD IS, and more!
Today I left home, not happy about it mind you. I was having a packing crisis, I was staunching at the bit about leaving my family, my comforts, the familiar. I’m scared sh**less about the upcoming 11 months, let’s be real here. Now that reality is sinking in, the change is happening, I want to run in the other direction…and find safety in things that I can control…
…. Another pattern begins to emerge.
I have control issues. I like to feel safe and comfortable. I feel that way when I am in control. Duh-duh-drrr….reality check, I’m not in control, even when I think I am…
God has called me to this mission field, I feel complete peace to the place about where He is leading me… then why do I feel the need to be a worry wart, anxiety ridden, a scaredy-cat… because I’m beginning to realize I’m not in control… and this place I’m in, that’s exactly where God wants me. He wants me (you too for that matter) to seek His will before my own, to seek His face and not my own or others’ countenance.
One of the main reasons I applied to the World Race is to have God break down my barriers, for Him to reveal Himself to me in new ways, and to relieve me of my false sense of control and comfort…. And now that He’s doing it, I’m beginning to have second thoughts.
Human, I know. Flawed. And Satan will attack my weak points, He knows what a mess I am. But what the Enemy is too stubborn to admit is, is that God is bigger, better, stronger, faster. For every strategy that Satan uses against me to take me away from a life dependent on Christ, God’s got a master plan that can’t be thwarted. What God wills, God gets ‘er done.
So my doubts, fears, anxieties, I’m letting go and letting God instead. He has a plan and purpose with me, He’s led me to the World Race and He’s going to lead me through it. Fighting for me for His glory, every step of the way.
So sit back, relax, and watch as God’s masterpiece unfolds in these next 11 months. Cause with God beside me, I’m not backing down. Satan’s just gonna have to step aside and slink away.
Joshua 1:9
“ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
