“And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ Then I said, ‘Here I am! Send me.'”
Isaiah 6:8
I once heard that the Lord speaks in small, quiet whispers. Well, this is exactly what He did in my life. He spoke, and I listened.
A little over a year ago, I rededicated my life to Christ. It has been a very long, amazing journey since then. The Lord has worked in so many incredible and very needful ways in my life over the past year. I have learned brokenness and redemption. I have learned true love and grace even when it is not deserved. I have learned peace and perseverance. The list goes on and on.
Well last summer, I read the book Radical by David Platt. (I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it.) It completely changed my view of missions. I suddenly felt this urgency to get involved in what the Lord was doing in the nations. I prayed for God to provide me with an opportunity to go on a mission trip. I had never done one even though I had been a Christian since I was 7. Well, my God is very faithful, and He provided that very opportunity this past March.
I went on my first mission trip to Panama this past March 2014 to the country of Panama. I got to literally be the hands and feet of Jesus to His children in that country. It was a medical missions trip, so we provided free medical clinics to the native people who could not afford it but needed it desperately. I have absolutely no medical background. Frankly, blood makes me queasy. However, the Lord was able to use in amazing ways despite that lack of knowledge or skill. It is so true that God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called! t got to play with and love on little children who have really never been shown affection. I got to assist setting up the medical clinics and be the assistant for whatever the doctors needed. I got to pray for God’s people and that country. Christ’s love penetrates even the deepest and hardest hearts, and I got to experience that first hand through my trip.
Well when I returned to the States, my life and graduate school went on as usual. Except then, something seemed off like something big was missing from my life. However, I couldn’t figure out what that was. My heart started to become very discontent and unhappy doing what I thought I should be doing: preparing for a career working with kids as a School Psychologist. I prayed desperately to God. Why was I feeling that way?
Well about a month ago, the Lord led me to the World Race website. I had known a couple of people who had done it before. However before now, I would have never considered this as something I would want to do. I had a life plan, and going to the nations spreading the Gospel was never part of it. Then God broke me instantly and quietly.
He told me in the softest of whispers that I need to serve the nations through this program for the next year. I was immediately questioning God. Why would you want me to give up my life plan? I am not ready. I can’t do it. He responded with a question that has completely changed my life… “Are you willing to give up your life for me?”
Wow. That was my first reaction. How could I not? He has saved me from destruction and death. He is my life and my all. Was I willing to choose the world and my own selfish desires over my Maker and my Savior? I immediately was so overwhelmed. I replied, “Yes, Lord. Send me.” This wasn’t easy. I had held on to my life plan for so long with the tightest grip. The Lord has been loosening those desires, so that He could fill me with His plan which is so much higher than my own.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” Jeremiah 29:11
“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'” Isaiah 55:8-9
The Lord has called me to the mission field. He has called me to completely and fully trust His plan for my life and not my own. He has called me to set the prisoners free and to fight for justice and mercy. He has called me to share His love and glory among the nations. He has called me to open the eyes of the blind and to help the lame walk. Jesus has called me to die of myself and to follow Him. The only response I can give is that of Isaiah, “Here I am Lord, Send me.” How could I settle for anything less?
“I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness;
I will take you by the hand and keep you;
I will give you as a covenant for the people,
a light for the nations,
to open the eyes that are blind,
to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon,
from the prison those who sit in darkness.”
Isaiah 42:6-7
