“It’s sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life, Starts with goodbye.”
~Carrie Underwood
Oh life. I have 7 days left in my sweet Dallas. I have been going non-stop these last few weeks, trying to cram in final hang outs and final final hang outs. Sometimes I really just want to crawl into my bed, and ignore the feelings that are so close to the surface. I have broken down a few times, with just the mere thought of saying goodbye, the huge crocodile tears of a broken-hearted girl. I guess I just realize that when I leave, I will not come back to the way it is now. Life keeps moving, people keep transitioning, and God keeps changing us. I am well aware that this is a good thing. My friend Tonya says that in no way does she want to look the same after the race, and yeah neither do I! I see that as one of the huge blessings of this pilgrimage; all the God-ordained experiences will have some serious transforming power. But I’m grieving the now that will soon be the old. I am grieving the change that is good, but is still a change.
We talked a lot about this grieving business at camp, and it was good to me. I have thought about it a lot. If I don’t figure out how to grieve well then I think each time we need to leave a country my teammates are going to have to drag me away kicking and screaming (which will not be pleasant for anyone involved). Ok I’m not so bad at change, in fact I adapt super well, it’s all the pre stuff that gets me all worked up and crazy like.
So really this leads me to where you come in…
Please pray that these next 7 days will be filled with me LISTENING to the Lord. I want to be in tune with the Spirit as never before. This I believe is key in helping with the dreaded goodbye that will start my most anticipated adventure. Incidentally, I will be fasting with my entire squad for the next 3 days. I am excited to pour my soul before my Savior, and truly hear from him. Ive never done this long of a fast, so I’ll be sure to share what all comes from it!
Much Love to you guys!
