“I know. I love you anyway.”
That quote has been on the sign of a local church for a couple of months now, and it serves as a great reminder of the amazing love of our Father.
So often we are afraid to tell the truth or admit to things because we fear the outcomes and responses we’ll receive. We’re afraid we’ll disappoint someone, insult someone, or in a worst case scenario…that that someone will stop loving us.
For the longest time I lived in great fear of that happening.
Throughout my 3 ½ years in college (and for some time after) I was in an extremely unhealthy relationship. It didn’t start that way…it actually started as a pretty great friendship…but as our relationship progressed it became very important to me that I never look bad in his eyes. I aimed to please and to never disappoint. Always. I constantly worried about saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, wearing the wrong thing, etc. (it didn’t help that if I did I received grief for it—even if in a ‘joking manner’). At the time this was completely normal behavior to me. I had brainwashed myself into believing that I had to be perfect for him. That if I stopped being perfect he wouldn’t love me anymore.
As we all know (and I later discovered), no one is perfect. I was bound to mess something up eventually. And the more I worried about messing up, well, the messier things would get. I would literally make myself sick over-analyzing situations or conversations to make sure I hadn’t done or said anything to “hurt the relationship” (side note: I am well aware of how crazy that sounds, but the sad truth is that this is common in a lot of relationships).
This went on for years. Years of fear and walking on egg-shells. Years of lying (mostly to myself, but to him as well). I was so afraid of losing him, and had convinced myself that if I wasn’t the “perfect girl” that that’s what would happen. I would become nothing but a disappointment and left feeling unworthy of his love.
Now I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now…but in case you haven’t…that relationship ended pretty badly. Because really, that’s the only way a relationship like that could end.
I’m sure others have had some similar thoughts and feelings toward past (or even present) relationships…but how often do we also have that mindset towards God? How often are we afraid to go to Him and confess our sins because we’re afraid of disappointing Him? How often do we feel unworthy of God’s love because, as humans, we fail Him daily? Along with fear of failing previously mentioned relationship, I also had the fear of failing in my relationship with God (I’m telling you, I had some serious relationship issues to work through in college).
But the beauty of the latter relationship is that…get this…God loves us anyway.
Human relationships, as well as friendships, always have the potential to end in disappointment, hurt, and sometimes even heartache (notice I said ‘potential’…I’m aware that despite my experience not all end badly). Sometimes you’re honest and people forgive you, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes you make mistakes (because we’re human) and friendships/relationships end because of it.
But a relationship with our Heavenly Father can only have one outcome: never-ending love. A relationship with God will never end in disappointment, hurt, or heartache. We don’t have to be afraid of revealing ourselves to God because He already knows. He knows all of our imperfections, all of our past, present and future shortcomings…and
He loves us anyway.
He loved us before we were.
He loves as are we are.
His love will never end.
He knows, and He loves us anyway.
I pray that you and I both remember this whenever we make a mess of things, because it’s going to happen…we’re human, remember? I pray that instead of trying to hide from God and shut Him out because we feel unworthy of His love, that we’ll remember the cross and what He did to prove His never-ending love for us. And I also pray that in our human relationships we learn to
know and love anyway.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
(Romans 5:8)
