Revisiting Failure (Part 2)…
Along my journey
home and in the midst of being reminded by Paul just what God has put inside
me, I was also reminded to be bold in the Spirit of Power and Love and Self
Control. At Training camp I came to the understanding that I walked and was
bound by shame… it was a shame that came from my past and
it was the chain the enemy used to keep me from being a threat. However, as
Truth was spoken into my life and 48+ warriors rallied to my side, that chain
was broken. Still it was the one thing the enemy would drag to my feet and try
to get me to pick back up. God used the passage in II Timothy to remind me that
I have nothing to be ashamed of, though.
“Therefore do not be
ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share
in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved
us and called us to a Holy calling , not because of
our works but because of His own purpose
and grace which He gave us in Christ
Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the
appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished
death and brought life and immortality
to light through the gospel for which I was appointed a preacher and
apostle and teacher, which is why I suffer as I do. But I am not ashamed for I know Whom I have
believed and I am fully convinced
that He is able to guard until the Day that which
has been entrusted to me.”
-II Timothy 1:8-12
I live as a child
of the King who has not only saved me, but brought purpose to my life…He has called Me… this messy human being to follow Him so
that I may fulfill his own purpose… so that I may see how beautiful my Father
is… so that I may walk in His Love for me. As
I drove I felt Him speaking over me that this Race is a season of this Holy
Calling… one in which I will carry out His own
purpose… it has nothing to do with me… it has nothing to do with the works that I complete, but
rather all to do with Him and the things He will do in me and through me… It will be to unleash this Kingdom that is inside of me. I
get to be a part of this amazing plan because of His grace. He does not need me
for any of this, yet He loves me so much that He invites me to be a part of it.
It’s like when you are little and your parents were working on something… while they didn’t need your help, they wanted you to join
them so they could teach you and watch you grow, because lets face it, it’s
pretty darn cute to watch little kids help do things like make cookies, hammer
things, etc… That’s how Papa views us in this whole
thing. His Beloved children… His Children whom He loved so deeply that
He sent His son to die for us… in doing so He brought LIFE… He abolished Death…
I have to stop and
tell you that as I read that part I felt this warrior cry welling up inside me… I turned and faced satan and said, “How dare you even attempt
to try to tell me that I am under that… Did you truly think that foolish lie would
faze me? You are absolutely ridiculous and are nothing more than a school yard
bully… My dad Kicked death in the face and obliterated
it, so buzz off”… I mean do you know how amazing that is? I
mean Paul doesn’t say God found the cure for death…he doesn’t say God crippled it…
no God ABOLISHED it!!! And not only that, but God brought LIFE and
IMMORTALITY!!! And we have this chance to not only receive it through the Truth
of His word, but we have been given the chance to bring that gospel to others.
I felt Paul’s
words ring as my own in my head as I continued…
“I was appointed a preacher and apostle and
teacher, which is why I suffer as I do.”
Changing lanes as
I drove I remembered moments at Training camp when those words had been spoken
into my life… moments throughout my life when those
words were spoken into my life… Then a whisper inside echoed, “This is why I suffer as I do.” This is
why I put up with the crap that satan flings at me. This is why I am still able
to love those who pillage my soul… because it has nothing to do with me… It has everything to do with the One who holds me captive…
As I pulled into
the driveway of my mentor’s home, I thanked God for the reminder..that my past
failures had been obliterated when He abolished death…that they had no hold over my life for I have no reason to be
ashamed…I’m free…
and with that, I stepped out claiming this as my battle cry:
“I am
not ashamed for I know Whom I have believed
and I am fully convinced that He is able to guard until the Day that which has been
entrusted to me.”
Speak
Life…Bring Kingdom…Be Changed…
